the trick is to keep breathing

A Series Of Texts From Yesterday, By Seventhe P. Dragomire And Lin Fucking Dorie

2012-05-22T11:52:00Z

Lin: ONE OF THE GUYS FAKES A HEADACHE, THE OTHER SAYS HE'S COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING AND SHE'S JUST LIKE "COME ON, YOU GUYS, IT'S JUST A QUICKIE"

Sev: KORRA: "COME ON. JUST A QUICKIE." MAKO: "YOU SAID THAT ABOUT THE LAST MATCH AND IT DIDN'T END FOR THREE HOURS"

Lin: IT'S PRO-SKIN BENDING. SEX-BENDING.

Sev: KORRA: "WE ARE WORKING ON YOUR ENDURANCE. NOW LET'S DO DRILLS"

Lin: KORRA: "YOU CALL THAT GOOD TECHNIQUE? THAT WON'T WIN US ANY TOURNAMENTS." "BUT I'M SORE--" "EMBRACE THE PAIN. PAIN IS GOOD. PAIN IS VICTORY. NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY."

Sev: "PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY, BOLIN"

Lin: "SUCK IT UP, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"

And, unfortunately for all of you, this is how Bro-Bending Boners was born.

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WHINES

2012-05-17T18:25:46Z

THINGS I HATED IN SCHOOL: GROUP PROJECTS

THINGS BEING A PROJECT LEADER IS LIKE: FUCKING GROUP PROJECTS

Sure, I can edit your 10 slides down to 5 and fix all of your typos

why not

that's certainly what they pay me for

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Hiring From The Other Side Of The Table

2012-05-15T21:11:23Z

vincentvalentine is trying to pull together some resources to help younger graduates feel better about finding jobs and more confident about the things that they do! This is a(n) ~~small~~ LOL RIGHT essay I've pulled together to help share my own experiences with interviewing and hiring. I hope it helps someone!

The information here is a lot about me and my experiences. I come across as a really grumpy asshole. But guess what! That's who is interviewing you. I don't come to work to make BFFs, I come to get shit done. I recruit in the same way. Lots of other people do too. Here's the list of ~secret~ things we're really looking for, and how you can make even a grumpy buttface like me want to bring you into my company. SPOILER: They're not so secret.

( Some Information On Interviewing From The Other Side Of The Table, or: What Too Much Of Sev's Job Has Become and How You Can Hopefully Make My Life Easier When I'm Hiring. )

All of this advice can be boiled down to the following: We want to hire someone who wants to be hired by us for this specific job. We are not looking for people who want "a job", "any job". We're a puzzle piece looking for a piece that fits well, that improves us, not just any piece that's close enough. Your job is to use the interview time to determine whether or not you are a good fit, and if you are, to show me why you're the best puzzle piece out there. Because there are a lot of other puzzle pieces very similar to you, and if I don't see that tiny two-pixel difference between you and the last person I spoke to, I may throw you both into the "meh" pile.

I win at analogies forever.

Enjoy. And good luck. And if you have questions, or you want to hear the horror stories, just ask.

...Also I pick on Taco Bell a lot in this and I want to make it perfectly clear that it's just an example and I love me some shameful 3:30am TBell just like every other engineer in the world.

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KORRA

2012-05-09T17:25:16Z

1. PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE ELSE IS UP TO DATE ON KORRA BECAUSE LOOK I JUST NEED THINGS OKAY

2. AFTER OVER 5 MONTHS OF THE DESERTIEST DRY SPELL IN WRITING I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE, IT ISN'T FINAL FANTASY OR SHERLOCK OR EVEN ORIGINAL!FIC THAT GETS ME THINKING ABOUT STORIES AGAIN, IT IS:
( THIS )

KORRA AND THE BROTHERS: APPARENTLY IT'S THE GODDAMN QUENCHIEST

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Okay wow wow wow

2012-05-02T14:01:56Z

Um wow, okay, so I am absolutely not condoning anything going on here: this is my city, I have driven on that fucking bridge, that's right near a close coworker's home, these are events I go to: these men are absolute assholes

but would you like to tell me what's wrong with this article within reading the first goddamn sentence

http://www.ohio.com/news/5-men-charged-in-plot-to-blow-up-bridge-other-targets-discussed-1.304109

"sports a striking black Mohawk haircut"

um

because obviously poor hairstyle choices = horrible person, bomber of awesome places to live, filth on the shiny operating surface of society

HE HAD A MOHAWK HOW DID YOU ALL MISS THIS OBVIOUSLY HE IS A GODDAMN BOMBER ASSHOLE

I am not entirely sure why this one sentence makes me so angry

do not make me defend someone who was going to blow up a bridge
please don't

(After a more in-depth reading: these guys are probably the dumbest bombers of all time. Brecksville wasn't really in danger, the FBI has been all over it from day one, they actually sold these dumbasses fake bombs, and hilariously, that's the same FBI guy who was involved in the [other thing]. This whole thing is just weird)

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this has become the dumbest blog

2012-05-01T20:11:22Z

a random positive post, to make up for all the bullshittery i've been wailing about lately:

I'd forgotten how much I like my actual *job* -- I mean working my reactor, running batches, synthesizing polymer, the job I've been doing for 7 years now. I was just out in the lab prepping bottles for new chemicals and I realized I was humming to myself, just a little, and I actually stopped with the bottle still in my hand and realized how content I was at that moment, how satisfying it was to be doing things with my hands again, to be testing a new chemical myself. It was surprising, because it's a very mundane part of the entire polymerization process - chemical prep - and it's boring and a well-trained monkey could actually do it; I've been impatient with it before. But now, it was like a little moment of zen.

Unfortunately, my job now isn't the job I've had for the last 7 years. Things change. Bitches get promoted. And today has definitely not been anywhere near a great day at work. But it was nice to have a moment of, "hey, this isn't actually the fifth level of hell."

WHY IS BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE SO FREAKING GOOD????? delicious new afternoon snack: 1 package mozzarella balls, 1 package sliced bitty tomatoes, absolutely drowned in 1 tpsb olive oil and 2 tbsp balsamic. Keep telling self: this has to last me three days, this has to last me three days...

I very randomly this afternoon was - very ridiculously, very hard - pinged for Beacon, the original story-world I'm creating/writing with my brother. I haven't touched it in over a year, but I was doing something completely unrelated in a thesaurus and I had the most absolutely amazing idea and now all I want to do is leave work immediately and go home and start pouring out words.

I haven't been actually *inspired* to write since, I am pretty sure, January.

:)

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when i eat, it is the food that is scared

2012-05-01T14:03:25Z

It is probably time for an entry that doesn't suck. So can we talk about Parks and Recreation?

( i'm going to go make out with him. on his face )

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2012: WHAT HAPPEN

2012-04-30T17:14:27Z

I love the fact that this is officially the last week of my twenties and I haven't done a single thing about that because I've been too busy and tired to even acknowledge the last few months of my twenties and hey, too late now, right? I literally spent all morning today at work organizing my desk - because I haven't had time to do anything other than "throw paper in folder and pray is correct folder" and that method is slowly but surely backfiring all over my face - and writing my to-do list. The fact that my work to-do list is currently a four-page document with six different sections and tons of bullet points in something that started out as color-coding two weeks ago? The fact that there is so much on it and so many things about it constantly changing that I literally have to take actually significant amounts of time on Mondays to properly arrange it, prioritize everything, communicate those priorities to a dozen people, make sure they're okay, coordinate changes, make a weekly plan of attack?

UGH

This is not what turning 30 was supposed to be like .__.

I had a lot of things I was going to do with this year, including finishing my fucking degree/thesis, among other things of various levels of importance. Instead I've spent all of 2012 so far doing the following:

Losing lots of time, energy, and fucks to my job

Spending more time, energy, and fucks being supportive to other people

Coming home and using my last remaining fuck to make dinner and a drink

I really just do not believe that it's already May tomorrow. I really honestly fucking don't. I have no idea what happened to this year but I would like so much of it back. I need to take control of all of this soon -- which is basically impossible since my job came with 400 new responsibilities and -0.1 new authority -- but if work really wants me to finish this degree they are going to have to stop making me work late, making me come in on Fridays, sending me to the plant, and also stop working me so hard that I sleep all weekend from exhaustion.

...is it sad that my "dream 30th birthday" vacation is me alone in a cabin somewhere with a couple bottles of wine where I could sleep and write and then sleep more and then write more? God.

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LET'S PLAY A GAME

2012-04-24T14:25:01Z

lassarina and I have been playing this game over email for almost a day now, where we give each other prompts and have to respond with only six words. It's easy enough that I have the brains to do it throughout the work day, but it feels a tiny bit like writing, and for someone who hasn't written a single fiction-esque word since the Kiss Battle (and before that, December; I actually checked) that's significant.

(I miss writing. I miss having time to do it, but more than that - I miss having the energy. Because I could make time if I had any inspiration, but I'm so out of fucks to give right now. And I miss it.)

So let's play. You leave me prompts: characters, pairings, a theme if you want, but not required. Because I am Seventhe Dragomire, I am going to give you seven words in return.

Any fandom you know I've touched is game. IDGAF.

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yay

2012-04-20T22:00:54Z

I love when I log onto DW to catch up and I have a bunch of posts that basically read "man I am so drunk" or "I did this when I was drunk"

it makes me feel better about all of my life choices >.>

speaking of which..... [BEER]

ALSO: 62% DONE WITH DOINK MATCHING, AND STILL ROLLING... for the record, I'm sitting outside on my patio in the nice weather, with a beer, doing the matching on my laptop while cats yell at me through the open window. It's amazing how much more relaxed I am now, away from work - just comparing this to yesterday or any other day this week (although I actually had to go to work today for a meeting and to help give a tour; one thing I wouldn't have bothered to go in for but since there were two I gave up and agreed) I am in a much better mood overall, even though 2012 Matching is actually being really difficult and stressful. This stress is the good kind; I feel all determined and buckled-down and challenged. This week has been the awful soul-crushing energy-busting fuck-your-face type stress. (Yes, I realize that fandom vs real job isn't really a fair comparison in terms of stress but I actually do take DOINK very seriously >.> )

I've got 3.5 hours left on my battery and some lights on the patio and I am ready to go.

Although I could still use a shoulder rub.

Sigh.

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submitting with absolutely no context

2012-04-17T02:52:31Z

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this was a very full, very long, very up-and-down weekend

2012-04-16T16:36:29Z

( bullet points and pictures? )

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just spamming

2012-04-11T15:07:25Z

cause y'all should sign up and also help spread the word

things aren't much better over here. my job is just currently a bog of suck. came in today to find that something else i needed to get done hasn't been done and i would really just like a week off now, please.

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i'm exhausted, guys

2012-04-04T12:34:22Z

Signups are still open! Join us!

- - -

I'm pretty sure between work stress, Doink, and the fact that I've run 3.1 miles every other day for a week, I'm just running on empty.

Work got really bad this week. I don't even want to talk about Monday. I need to be more emotionally detached from this shit. It's funny because I am such a different person at work / in my work life than I am online. There I'm smart as fuck and hardworking and serious and driven and capable and intelligent, and I'm emotionally and intellectually attached and integrated to everything that I do. (here I can reply to 6000 words of gay fanfiction with "FFFFFFFFFFFFF" and often do just this because I don't give a fuck.) Monday was bad, this whole week has been awful, I am so tired. I'm too tired to talk about it.

I keep wondering when the fuck this shit's going to stop so that I can work on my goddamn thesis and get my fucking Masters. Never go to graduate school part time. Just don't. It is the worst idea I have ever had.

I may go home tonight and play FFVIII because why not.

My to-do list hates me.

How many fucks do I have left.

This has been your daily depressing entry. Move along now.

EDIT: I forgot -- today I'm spending the entire day working on the AIChE presentation I'll be giving in two weeks to an audience of 300-400 chemical engineers about my job. COOL

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THAT'S RIGHT EVERYBODY

2012-04-01T23:42:42Z

COME PLAY COME PLAY COME PLAY

edit: If you can't come play, please at least take a second and give us a shout-out -- with ff_press still down, the only way we have to advertise is word-of-mouth (or journal, in this case). There's easy code - with ~banners!~ in so many colors! - you can just copy-paste here. Even if you can't participate, helping to spread the word over the next week or so would be awesome.

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So apparently I'm running a 5k in two weeks.

2012-03-29T02:16:10Z

Last year, Katy, Jeff, and I ran a 5K. I know it was in early May because a) I remember it as a week before my half marathon which was 15 May; and b) I wore the shirt from it today and checked the date and yes it was like 8 May 2011. I've been intending to run it again this year, but, assuming it would be in early May again, I figured I had time to kick it back into running.

Today we got an email at work basically saying LULZ, RACE IS ON 14 APRIL. IN TWO WEEKS. REGISTER BY SATURDAY AND GET ANOTHER SWEET SHIRT

So.

Please keep in mind that I haven't run -- have barely worked out -- since the first week in February, when my toe almost broke off. I've been healing. Doctor's orders. (and in all fairness i hadnt really been working out too much before that due to holidays and laziness, so... I am really not in good shape right now, my friends.) So I have absolutely zero base to build on here. I wasn't even really sure I COULD STILL RUN 3 MILES.

So I decided to try. Because that's a great idea with no base and recovering from an injury that still hurts and when I'm already an asthmatic cripple who hates running anyway. I decided to try AND TO DO IT WITH INTERVALS. cause great ideas are great. Don't look at me like that.

and here, i'll just copy this from my email to Katy, because I'm lazy:

>> So last year I ran the 5k in 28:10

>> Just now I got to 28 minutes and I STILL HAD A HALF MILE TO GO

>> final time 33:20 and that's on a treadmill... Aka no hills or people or anything

>> On one hand I'm pretty proud that I just pulled a 5k out of my ass when I legitimately haven't run an inch since the first week of February

>> On the other hand, JESUS CHRIST

So. I've got two things to ask of y'all.

1). If I post tomorrow that my toe hurts, do not let me run this shit. Do not let me run at all. Comment and say "I told you so." Comment and say I told ME so. Bring your friends. I don't care. Rip on me hard enough that I don't try to run this if my toe is still being arthritic and painful.
2) if I am not in severe pain tomorrow, help keep me motivated? Because I haven't run in forever and it's going to be hard to be positive when I'm so much slower than last year even though I know I can rationalize all the reasons.

And now, to bed.

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send caffeine.

2012-03-27T12:14:37Z

( ongoing to do list under the cut )

seriously I'm so tired. I'm running out of exciting ways to say it. I slept a ton this weekend and it's like it didn't go anywhere. It never gets stored anywhere. I feel so burnt out.

THIS IS A HAPPY POST. CAN YOU TELL.

I'd like to have the energy to write again.

In other news, how is March almost over. Seriously.

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[ANGRY MACHINE NOISES]

2012-03-26T13:48:36Z

To do this week:

Crosspost stuff from the Kissing Battle into the Chocobo Down 2011 archive on AO3. Because why not?

Play more on FF Crack Battle #1 (it's FFVII/FFVIII, guys... a dream come true)

Get the matching macro and other stuff ready for the 2012 round of DOINK!

Catch up on emails and responses~! I'm down to only 8 unreads... I MUST GET THERE

Take car in to the shop and get my trim fixed :/ bleghhhhh

Take LisA for a massage tomorrow since she has come to feed the cats one million times in 2012 so far and there are more times coming

hit the gym at least three times (IN THE FACE!!!)

figure out weekend plans so that I know whether I'm going to help vincentvalentine and if so on what day

survive all of the work stuff -- as of right now I have an entire week with no meetings and I really need to hit it hard before the next round of meetings show up

START LOOKING AT MY THESIS PROJECT OH GOD

figure out family vacation over memorial day (ughhhhhhhhhhh)

figure out some wedding-related details for friends

Continue unfucking my room ie fold the laundry that has been there since before I went to Louisiana lolz

SLEEP?????

STUPID ADULTHOOD

(edit) things I will actually do tonight:
- take car in
- visit the gym, if the car doesn't take too long
- watch Return of the King (what)

DON'T JUDGE

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YOU AREN'T EVEN JUNCTIONED

2012-03-23T03:06:33Z

THIS WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY TO ME.

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FF CRACK BATTLE #1.

2012-03-22T23:42:37Z

FINAL FANTASY CRACK BATTLE FF7+FF8

Yes. You're reading this correctly.

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on personality tests

2012-03-21T17:56:15Z

good lord: I'm not sure I've ever found anything that breaks my mind down more than this: http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html it's so true >.>

http://www.mypersonality.info/ if you want to know what you are

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7 questions from katy

2012-03-09T20:52:13Z

The meme:

Comment to this post, and I will list seven things I want you to talk about. They might make sense or they might be totally random.

Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

From ser_pounce_alot / katmillia

( ZERO FUCKS QUESTIONNAIRE )

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meme to lower my stress level!

2012-03-07T20:42:26Z

Give me a character and I will tell you:

Why I like them
Favorite line
Favorite outfit
OTP(s)
A wish
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen
5 words to best describe them
My nickname for them

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BJORK IN NEW YORK CITY

2012-03-06T17:33:46Z

I WAS THERE.

IT WAS AMAZING.

I was also at a lot of bars, on a lot of (quality) trains, at a lot of delicious restaurants, and in the middle of a large amount of drunk. Zero Fucks Weekend Round Two: New York City Shame Edition was an epic success and I'll update everyone some more when I'm not being kicked out of work for actually being too sick to be here. (I promise I'll leave when my work is done, people, but it ain't done yet)

But I thought you should all know that Bjork's show and new album are just as amazing as she always is, and I am still worshipping at her sparkly, big-haired, amazing-voiced altar.

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Distant Worlds

2012-02-28T14:14:28Z

I saw Distant Worlds last Friday, and it was amazing. I'd heard from a lot of people that it was going to be really good, but I had kind of been trying to keep reasonable expectations and all. It was just unbelievable, though, like on a lot of levels: this is the music from a series of games I have been playing for over 20 years now, well over half my life, and I listened to them in a gorgeous ballroom-type setting thing surrounded by people from the internet that I met through these games who are now some of my closest and best friends in the world. It's a little mind-blowing when I put it that way. No wonder I got a bit emotional.

The show opened with the Opening: Bombing Mission from FFVII, and that was definitely a "get chills" type thing: vincentvalentine and crankyoldman were the first people I met in person through fandom, [mumble] years ago, and we all met through FFVII and cosplayed really shitty Turks at our first convention and there they were sitting right in front of me: LULZ, to put it in the vernacular. Can I use any more colons: WE'LL FIND OUT.

Other highlights of the show for me:

The fucking battle music from FFVIII. What the everloving fuck: why did this make me cry? But it did. I think it was the moment I realized they were using the footage from the scene in Dollet where they're running from that giant monster and Quistis fucks it up with the machine gun so that Squall can escape. I have unhealthy feelings about this game.

On that note: EYES ON ME. HOLY JESUS. Sobfest over basically a Squall/Rinoa songvid. I absolutely loved that singer.

and on that note: MAN WITH THE MACHINE GUN. Will I ever not love this song in its entirely? JFMC.

There were two pieces from FFIX, and even though that wasn't my favorite game, I'd forgotten (a) how poignant and pretty the music is and (b) that the game can still pack an emotional punch with some of those visuals.

FFIV's Theme Of Love. It's a beautiful song from my favorite game. I probably would have liked a little more music from FFIV - they did a medley from I-III that was amazing and made me tear up a little, and it would have been nice to see the same for FFIV; it has the kind of very repetitive music I think would be suited for a medley. Then again I'm a little prejudiced about this game.

Zanarkand. Fucking Zanarkand. I cried so hard at this one. The visuals were just really well done - people cry, and Yuna dances - and personally I think it's top five one of the most beautifully emotional songs in the entire FF series.

THE OPERA FROM FFVI. I wasn't sure how this was going to play out, but I was hopeful, and it was absolutely amazing. The singers were phenomenal, and they put little clips of the Opera House from the game up in-between the singing parts, and I got pretty emotional seeing Locke running around in the rafters and Edgar and Sabin sitting in the chairs ("Why is everyone singing?") and all of that. Again, nostalgia time: my brother Jim and I pooled all our money to buy FFVI (FFIII!) when it came out and we played the hell out of it and we still joke about it. My brother: came to the Distant Worlds concert. I'd already been crying, but I sobbed at the fricking opera.
(Side note: am I the only ~~old person~~ one who still wants to say, "Oh my hero / so far away now / will I ever see your smile"? I know they re-wrote/re-translated the opera in other releases of the game and in FFVI Advance and all, but the original translation will always be the one in my head.

Terra's Theme is still like top three pieces of music forever, although they ruined it a little by playing credits through it. Maybe I'm just bitter because MY FAVORITE.

The entire crowd singing SEPH-I-ROTH was a really good note to end on: I've never really been able to adore Sephiroth like most of the fandom, but One Winged Angel is still awesome music, and having the crowd sing was an awesome way to end on a good note with a badass game and a badass villain without taking itself too seriously. It was pretty awesome.

The rest of the weekend was an exhausting blur of internet friends and alcohol. Just take a look at this: safety_caesars and ser_pounce_alot and I drove out on Thursday to pick up deadcellredux and notraffic, then met justira and vincentvalentine on Friday and crankyoldman late Fri / early Sat. That's a lot of Final Fantasy. And a lot of booze.

It was a great weekend and an amazing show. Coming back to a day of meetings starting at 5AM (the day; 6:20 for the workday) was kind of like a punch in the face.

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