seventhe: (Internet)
Since I stopped posting this meme:

  • I have successfully posted the first 4 chapters (aka 40,000 words) of HONK. You can find it on the AO3, which is a much nicer interface, BUT we would also appreciate comments on the fanfiction.net version if you'd like to help us out there. AO3 has 1-4, ff.net currently has 1-2. Even if you've read the AO3 version, please help a sister out and drop us a comment in either place. ♥

  • I've taken one exam, done two major homework assignments, and have a final next week.

  • Work has flipped on me entirely.

  • Goldbug's exhaust broke, to the tune of a Check Engine light and $700 (WITH DISCOUNT), which didn't help my stress levels

  • I hosted a very successful SevCon at my new townhouse. APPA!!! HOOKAH. HONK. WALKING RUCKUS = IT'S THE POLICE Etc. It cost some money, too, but it was pretty awesome overall. MUST HAVE MORE?

  • I found out Marzy has a heart murmur and has to go to a kitty cardiologist, to the tune of what will eventually be $500.

  • I've watched Seasons 1 and 2 of Avatar: The Last Airbender and while I love it, I am not sure I want to dive into the fandom because it terrifies me. However: MUST. COSPLAY. KATARA.

  • Goldbug's exhaust then broke again on the way to Buffalo, and was fixed after some angry-panicked-furious phone calls over three states. Should have been $360, was discounted down to $160. Still sucked.

  • I spent Thanksgiving with family and friends, a lovely de-stressor...

  • ...only to return to OH with an infection which blossomed into a fever, leaving me on a damn serious antibiotic (let us all now remember Sev's completely idiosynchratic reactions to antibiotics; the last two gave me more infections, face herpes, a rash / hives, and also would uncontrollably knock me out for 2 hours at a time - so far this one makes me woozy and also allows me to feel my kidneys, throbbing at me, which isn't very reassuring) that scares me...

  • ...and the stress of all the proceeding tied up my neck in one of those I-can't-turn-my-head-at-all literal knots, which also prevented me from getting to the doctor (or work) (or anywhere) and made medical treatment pretty miserable.

  • I haven't been to the gym, or yoga, in weeks, mainly because of the above.

  • And I'm depressed about it all.


It is now December 2nd. I am still writing Honk, I am still studying for a final, I am still treating my cats and I also now have the holidays to worry about. I really apologize for dropping this meme, but this has been a seriously rough time.

BUT! Let's all go read some HONK and I'll start the meme back up officially, starting now. :D

seventhe: (FFEX: Doink!)
your least favorite words, usage of words, sayings you think are dumb, IDK WORDS MAN WORDS AND WHY THEY CAN SUCK.


Oooh, gosh, words.

Look, okay, I was that kid looking up all kinds of words in the dictionary because I was fascinated with their roots; drawing lines together between similar words, suffixes and prefixes and root-bits and I loved seeing where they came from and how they traveled through time, and it's unfortunate that nobody ever told me linguistics even fucking EXISTED until I was already a Chemical Engineer, because I would have loved to take the shit out of that class. I have always loved words, been fascinated by words, etc.

So here are a couple categories off the top of my head!

Words that suck because they are '-ist' words that have crept into the vernacular, including MINE, despite their offensiveness; and I hate that I say them and hate that I never learned about them until they were unfortunately habitual. )

Words that suck because I always fucking misspell them. )

Sayings I do not like and things that annoy me. )

And how about a word that is cool? )

...ENJOY! ;)

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: Rydia (Rydia)
Well, this post starts out in an interesting manner: [livejournal.com profile] jennyclarinet asked me to talk about being legally blind.

TW, if it is needed, for discussion about blindness, eyesight, and related disability.

Here's the background: my eyesight is very, very bad. I've had glasses since I was three years old. My eyes, now, at 28, are reaching the point where they're no longer 100% correctable. Since I've had glasses for so long, I barely even remember the discussions that went on when I was 3, but I do know I am functionally blind without my glasses. I am "severely sight impaired." And, somewhere in those 28 years, I was told this was "legally blind."

So I went to Wikipedia and looked up the borderline for being legally blind, to talk about it a little bit, and I am now confused, because - while I've been told that I qualify on the ground that my eyesight is so poor, I do not qualify according to the line drawn on Wikipedia because my eyes are (mostly) correctable. So, hilariously, which is right? Is it the natural state of my eyes which counts, or the state of my eyes after correction...? Which doctor told me I was legally blind, and was that a state definition, or a doctor somehow projecting on a young patient? Was it right at the time? Is Wikipedia correct in this case? Do I actually qualify as legally blind?

Obviously, these are all questions to ask my NEW optometrist; I am not qualified to answer them. But it made me think a little, and I want to throw these thoughts out there. It made me think, because I don't want to look like that person appropriating labels and intruding on legitimate space for the fellow disabled. I don't want to lie. I am not looking for attention, or for sympathy.

So who gets to decide if I am disabled? And does it matter?

I feel disabled. Am I? Does that count?

Hilarious Edit: I think [personal profile] thewhitemage has clarified my confusion for me: the "legal" definition is what you need to get benefits, which is why correctability matters; to qualify in the medical category, correctability is irrelevant. So... perhaps everything is correct here!
Oncoming rant still stands though. *g*


Discussion of Disability. )

And now, more discussion about my eyesight! )

And my worries about my own eyes. )

It kind of goes along with my strange relationship with my own body; it doesn't work right, and I am not sure I love that. And it goes along with my own struggles with and desires for medical "legitimacy", as if I'm not allowed to claim something unless it's an actual diagnosed medical problem? As if having this awful eyesight isn't enough, it has to be labeled "Legally Blind" or I feel like I should just STFU about it?

Anyway, yup.

I have pretty much decided that I am going in early next year to be evaluated for laser eye surgery. So anyone who has any thoughts on that, they're much appreciated.


This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: (Default)
I am a day behind, yes, but this weekend has been super busy -- cleaning the house for a party and packing/cleaning to move, HONK is due on Sunday, and just LOTS OF THINGS, OKAY. I'll continue to post, no worries. If we're a day behind, I think you'll live.

So [personal profile] novel_machinist / [livejournal.com profile] drakonlily asked me to post about boobies.

WHAT A GREAT TOPIC.

I love boobs.

I understand not everyone does - this is okay! (More for me!) I understand that some people fall into the [livejournal.com profile] astrangerenters category of "I like boobs, but I don't want to MBRBMRBBRBRBRBMBRMBR *MOTORBOAT SOUND AND MOTION*" - this is also okay! I realize that some people who have them are not entirely fans, because they can be annoying and they can hurt and hurt you and sometimes they just don't feel like yours, right, cause you don't feel entirely girl, and they're not for everyone - to these people, I will say, I am so sorry, and I hope you find an awesome way to deal with them and make them yours.

But me? Boobs are beautiful. They're great.

Aesthetically, I find them very pleasing. I like the curves they make, and whether it's a small subtle curve from a small cup or a grandiose curve from an F cup, I usually find that boobs grow to fit the body they're coming from, and that, I find very flattering. They look great under anything: sweaters, button-down shirts (hot), tank tops (hot), turtlenecks (yes hot). Tuck them into a dress; throw them under a t-shirt. However you like to dress them, it suits them.

And again, those who have boobs? They usually look good. You know how to dress them. You might be worrying: Is this short too tight? No, they look good. Is this too loose? No, they look good. I don't want to look like I'm flaunting. No, you don't, I promise; it's very subtle, and I am loving it. I DO want to look like I'm flaunting. I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you OVER THE FABULOSITY. LOOK AT ME. NOW BACK TO THE BOOBS. NOW BACK TO ME.

YOUR BOOBS ARE NOW DIAMONDS.

Again, I find that breasts grow to suit the bodies they come from, and so, I'm not sure there's a "right size" for me, because I enjoy boobs as attached to the person they belong to? So yes, if you were wondering: yours suit you. (I've looked!)

Now, you might say, Sev: what about YOUR boobs?

Well. MINE. Yes, I love mine, too. I like bras; I know they are not for everyone, but I do not like the feeling of walking around my lab and climbing on things with out support. When I'm at home, I like the tank tops with the shelves - it's like half of a bra, comfy but not constricting (and healthy, too, right Becky?). I really, really don't like strapless bras; I'll wear them for fancy occasions if I MUST, but I am very much not a fan. When I am in the mood, I like to flaunt mine (you may know this). I enjoy a nice tank top or a dress, or a tank under a cute sweater.

I have a freckle on mine, which I use as guidance as to whether or not I am showing appropriate or risque amounts of cleavage! The boob freckle is a great guideline. (PS: Drakon and I have almost the exact same chest. We even have a matching boob freckle.)

One of my favorite things to do with them is wear necklaces that dip into my cleavage (what?). I think it looks super hot, and it feels fun. XD


AND THERE ARE SOME THINGS ABOUT BOOBS!


This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: (Fandom: Hell Bus)
So: THE SQWHALE.

HERE HE IS AGAIN FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT.



SO. IT WAS LIKE 3 AM. )

Conclusion: Squids are assholes.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: (Default)
Okay! This couldn't have come at a better time, because, well, today has been cold and grey and grumpy and work sucked and homework sucks and lots of other people are in the suck, and guess what: IT IS TIME FOR SOME FANGIRLING.

[personal profile] lassarina asked for Favourite FF Characters and Ships and Why.

This... is the kind of answer I could spend thousands of words on. I have a lot of favorites, from a lot of games, and a lot to say about them! So I'm going to make this fun and challenging and way more entertaining to read for all of you: I'm only going to give myself one sentence about my favorites, both characters and pairings (although I am still allowed to abuse punctuation).

I've played I-III, but (a) I've never beaten them (I am so not the completionist) and (b) the characters didn't stick in my head, so: I'm going to start with FFIV and I will move through and point at my favorites and it doesn't mean I don't love the others, but this really has to be about favorites, so, yeah.

Final Fantasy: Characters and Pairings I Really Like )


KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN ABBREVIATED LIST; I LIKE ALMOST ALL PAIRINGS AND IT'S SUPER HARD TO PICK FAVORITES, WHAT

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: Rydia (Rydia)
Makeup Batman's Beauty Tips!


GOSH THIS IS A FUN ONE.

Okay, full disclosure: I love makeup.

On Makeup and Style )

If you've ever been to a con with me, you've probably seen the Makeup Batman in action. I love con makeup because it's dramatic and fun and a chance to hit everyone with dark bright colors and glitter. But I also love doing everyone's makeup for just normal fun weekends. In spending more time on my own and in doing other people up, I've gathered some general know-how, and I will now talk about it in some semblance of order!

Hey Makeup Batman: How Much Should I Spend? )

Hey Makeup Batman: What Should I Get? )

Hey Makeup Batman: What Colors Do I Want? )

Hey Makeup Batman: WTF Do I Do With This Stuff? )

AND THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR NOW

WHY IS THIS SO LONG, LOLOLFOREVER

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: (FFEX: Doink!)
WHAT YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT ACADEMIA.


Well, okay.

I am going to separate this out into two parts: some big, fundamental things that I think need discussing, and some smaller, within-the-system, more reasonable things I think are relevant.

It's going to become a ramble and I am sure there are a lot of things I am going to miss. I have definitely NOT said everything I have to say about academia; this came out being more about academia as a whole, and I could write another 8000 words on effing grad school. But I don't want to let this eat up 2 hours of my evening. Have a sampling.

The big picture of academia... needs to change )

But what can we do NOW? )



I told myself I'd stop writing this at 8:00 and it is already 8:05 so I am going to post but I KNOW I HAVEN'T SAID ALL I WANT TO SAY so uh feel free to give me some leading questions if you are so inclined etc etc seriously, this doesn't even get into the way I would GUT graduate school and START OVER in so many places so.... dammit Cendri way to give me a topic I could cover for a week >.>



This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: Rydia (Rydia)
A Day In Sevland: What The World Would Be Like If Sev Were Queen

Here’s what the world would be like if I were queen: kittens. Everywhere. Kittens would basically never grow up to be cats, or if they did, the cats would be cuter. And there wouldn’t any such thing as a cat allergy, so everybody would basically love all the cats. People who didn’t love kittens could have corgis. Basically, my world will be a giant humane society.

Here’s what else there would be: BEER. Like, a fuckton of beer. There would be beer everywhere. You’d pay for your house to be hooked up to the Yuengling line, kind of like the internet, and then there’d just be a tap in your house with beer. Everywhere. People who don’t like beer? You can subscribe to the Vodkaline.

There would be a similar thing, but with coffee.

Douchebaggery would be a federal offense, and I – since I am queen – would get to vet all of the people who determine whether or not someone falls into the category of douchebaggery or one of its many subsets (example: asshattery). Your punishment for being a douche would be scooping the giant litterboxes of my kitten-infested world. Nothing capital, but enough to make you think twice before you’re mean to somebody.

There will be a Sheetz on every corner. They will play only Pitbull, Boulevard of the Allies, or the Ceiling Cake song.

I will create a giant federal grant for the writing of all kinds of fanfiction (and the drawing of fanarts!). Applicants will send me their best porn, and if you pass, you can earn up to a year’s worth of sabbatical on Fandom Island, where you will do nothing but play games and write (porn) about them all day long, except for the hours you are petting kittens.

Everyone will know how to sing and the world will randomly break out in four-part harmony.

Freshly-baked bread will be the backbone of my nation. Somehow it will supply everyone with your vitamins and minerals and proteins and fats and carbs in the correct balance, and it will taste like fresh French baguettes. You may have jam if you would like. Sev is a benevolent queen.

It will be not only okay, but encouraged, for each house or apartment to have a small alcove off of it devoted entirely to shoes. (And boots!)

Instead of war, SevLand will spend money making the rest of the world love the fuck out of us. We will finance growth and development and Blackberries and Sheetz and love for all in nations that need it. Everyone in SevLand who wants to will be able to spend a year, fully subsidized, doing community service either in or outside SevLand. This way nobody will ever want to bomb us. I think it’s a good national security strategy. I am queen, you know.

Obviously nobody’s going to want to bomb kittens.

Tons of money is going to go into the scientific community, because they’re the ones who are going to make us beer taps and delicious bread and cure cancer. There will be lots of scientific jobs and universities will actually make fucking sense. There won’t be any politicians because I am queen for life. Anyone who wants to enter politics can make a “donation” to this fund and spend the rest of their life on Politics Island, the place Fandom Island goes in cosplay / furry suits to fuck with.

Shemar Moore will be my sexytimes partner. (What! WHAT.)

There will be books everywhere. And everyone can write them! And read them. If you don’t know how to read by the age of 5 you can come to my spacious shoe-kitten-beer-brothel-brewery palace, and I – or one of my friends - will personally teach you to read.

TV won't have any ads. All of the shows will kick ass and pass the Bechdel Test.


Yup.

It would be awesome.


This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: (FFEX: Doink!)
[personal profile] justira asked:
Why are you in fandom! How did you get here! Did you learn anything about yourself from/through being in fandom? For example, did you discover any kinks? =D (And, if you feel comfortable sharing, what are they!)


And I've got a bit to say about this!

Why am I in fandom?
I like to write, and being in fandom helps keep me doing so; there's an audience in fandom I think it's easier to reach out to than with original work. I love the source material, and fandom's a way to express that: reading, browsing art, commenting, sharing; all of these are ways to extend and explore a source material I'm fond of. I like the community; I've met some amazing people through fandom (more on this in a bit) and I enjoy the shared/collaborative feel of it, even if it's just commenting on a friend's drabble with a smiley-face.

I think in a way it's about value. I've watched people change fandoms or drift in and out of fandom because it isn't returning what they value (whether that's attention, comments/reviews, crit/feedback, cult of worshipers etc - value's different for all), and obviously I encourage everyone to shift around until they find a place in a fandom that's rewarding for them. Fandom's supposed to be fun, not frustrating!

Anyway: for me, the value returned is in communications: friends emailing me rambling snippets of fic or ideas for the one where GFs steal Seifer's memory or even just handfuls of porn, people I don't know commenting on fic that's two years old and getting into conversations about this or that pairing, friendships that move on beyond fandom, ideas that grow into [community profile] ff_exchange or the Kiss Battle or a series of prompts on [community profile] fuckyeahfinalfantasy -- interactions that go beyond "hay I liked your fic" are what I mean.

It's the connections, the kind of stuff I wouldn't do on my own -- like... I could write and maybe get comments and stuff, but -- I know now that I can write something and people will read it, and if they don't I can send them a note and they'll read it when they have time; it's the feedback, the interaction, and that's what I like.

How did I come to fandom?
Sadface: I have been writing fanfiction since before I knew what it was. Remember Sev is older than most of you, and we didn't have a ton of internet access/time growing up, and so when I spent my time writing an absolutely massive (note: it spanned four 3 1/2 inch disks) FFIV / FFVI crossover, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS FANFIC; I was just like "la de da I am writing this stupid story and I will never tell anyone." It wasn't until college - which for me was after 2000 - that I really recognized fanfiction and figured out what the heck it was. That means I've been writing for over 10 years... wow, that's ridiculous.

Once I found fanfiction.net -- through FF and Harry Potter almost simultaneously -- I started writing more, and I started meeting people. I ended up heading to Livejournal through - well, a collection of people; [personal profile] novel_machinist/[livejournal.com profile] drakonlily and [personal profile] crankyoldman/[livejournal.com profile] venefica_aura, mostly. They! Were also the first fandom people I ever met, in 2005, when we went to Otakon for the first time. (2005 or 2006? Am I that old...?)

Once I found Livejournal I was pretty much lost.

Things I learned from fandom!

Well, to start it off I have to say that fandom has impacted my life. It isn't subtle. Many people I've met from here have become friends, and some of them not just friends but CLOSE, heart-to-heart, soulmate friends. (And some of them, MAKEOUT FRIENDS, which in my opinion are totally the best kind!) I'm talking real-life friends and real-life impact. I won't get sappy, but I'm going to say: I love you all.

And, GOSH, as for kinks?

KINKS! )

And my time's almost up... post! Obviously there's a lot more to say, but one thing I learned about myself is tl;dr. Yes.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ
seventhe: (FFEX: Doink!)
[personal profile] renay has asked me to talk about books, and since I sent her some of this particular series (ACCIDENTALLY COVERED IN CHOCOLATE, that will never stop being funny) and she hasn't had time for them yet, today I am going to talk about: The Dresden Files.

I do love this series and I enjoy these books very much, but let me get out there first that I am definitely not the kind of reader who lets books I like get a free pass. I actually enjoy critiquing books I like. Sunshine, aka my favorite book of all time? SOOO not a perfect book; and one of my favorite things about it is being able to discuss its flaws with other people, discussing how it works with them and around them. So! If you also like the Dresden Files but you don't want to see them discussed from all angles (strengths AND weaknesses), uhhhhhh this is so officially your warning. If you're curious about the Dresden Files and you'd like to see my take on where they succeed and where they fail, hey: this is your invitation!

Note: There should be no major spoilers in this part. If I end up wanting to write about something that's a spoiler, I will mark it!

Hell's bells! )

Let's take a look from a different angle. )

In The End

This post is too long, and I know I've left out a ton, so feel free to ask stuff in the comments. Overall: I have really enjoyed this series, with its flaws, because the storytelling is engaging, the characters intriguing, and the world-building excellently complex.

AND NOW I POST.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting and contribute if there are any spaces! DW || LJ
seventhe: (Default)
I have a Kindle! I have been promising people (namely [personal profile] shanaqui, gosh, sorry) to talk about it, and I do want to talk about it, because I think it's pretty cool. But in typical Sev fashion, this is going to become a long and rambling post about reading, too, so that when I get to the (long and rambling) part about my e-reader you guys can better understand the context with which I come at it.

So!

ME, AND READING: A HISTORY. )

What I Like About My Kindle )

What I think about the Kindle in general or for others )

And some thoughts on e-readers as a whole )

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting and contribute if there are any spaces! DW || LJ
seventhe: Rydia (Rydia)
So I have three cats. Let me get this out there first: I love cats. I have always loved cats; I love dogs too - I don't think you have to like one or the other; some people do but there are plenty of us who like both - but my lifestyle isn't really appropriate for a dog. I work 10-hour days and I'm already out of the house for 11.5 hours straight because of it; add in grad school, the gym, and the errands it takes to be a damn adult, and it's easy for me to be out of the house for 14 hours. That's only an average day. That isn't fair to do to any dog - dogs take a lot of commitment and responsibility (to get a good dog, anyway) and that just isn't feasible. So, I have three cats.

I love my cats.

I love cats in general. They are affectionate and friendly, but not clingy or needy - just like me. They want things when they want them and no one can really convince them otherwise, unless it's food - just like me. They actually need space and alone time and will be sure to get it whenever necessary - just like me. They are fuzzy and cute and make adorable noises, which I am not and don't, but hey, a girl can't do everything.

I love pets and I talk to mine all the time, like people. Because I come from crazystock, the cats talk back (yes, they all have 'voices'). They all have personalities, they all have habits, and they all have places in my heart.

So these are my cats. Lots of photos, guys, made small for easy access! )

I know my photos are old -- I think they max out at 6 months, and they are so much bigger now; I want to take a video (HAPPY KITTY VIDEO, Y/Y?) and even if I can't I'll try to get some of the photos off of my phone so that you can at least see how freaking gigantic the kittens are now. WHY DO KITTENS GROW. :(

They're small and cute and so very adorably MINE, and I am so very glad that I can provide a good home to three cats who really needed it. "Cat dreams do some true" is what Jeff and I say to them, and it's so very true. They are the luckiest fuckers in the entire world.

And those are my cats!

EDIT: I came upstairs after reading this post, and Marzy had knocked every single bottle of vitamins off of my dresser and onto the ground (that's like 5 bottles) and Porter was sleeping in a laundry basket. That should tell you everything you need to know.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting and contribute if there are any spaces! DW || LJ
seventhe: Rydia (Rydia)
...I have realized that HONK can easily be my NaNoWriMo project! Initially I was thinking there wouldn't be enough left to get 50K out of but all I have to say to that right now is "Ha ha ha, self, you dreamt you were a moron." There is definitely 50K left and I'm going to be writing it anyway. And we're breaking it up into a Part I and a Part II so technically it could count for NaNo as a 'new story' in a way. (I kind of don't care about that stipulation, as I do Beacon every other year; I'm just saying.) Soooooo, I'll at least be tracking my word count there. NaNoWriMo is go!

Man. Do I have some mad word count graphs to show you guys.

BUT! My blogging-meme is spreading and that makes me super happy! Two other people will be doing this with me in November, and that's awesome. :D If you want to leave me something to talk about, go ahead (if you're on LJ feel free to scroll back and comment on that one, I don't care - just FYI you can comment on a DW entry with your Livejournal, too, via OpenID!) - I have about a week still open and there are plenty of topics that haven't been hit yet. Ha ha. I am still waiting for [personal profile] renay and [personal profile] justira to assign me some fandom essays or whatever.

This week has been exhausting and it's really hard to get out of bed. And I have another exam in two weeks, ffffffffffffffffffff

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