seventhe: (Ondore: he lies)

So over my brief microsabbatical I decided on a list of things I want to get done by the end of the year: thus, New Year's Resolutions, in reverse, ie my resolution is to have this done before the new year. See? Get it? It's like I'm clever instead of backwards and wrong!

  1. Get Healthy [metric: exercise 3+/wk; lose 10+ lb]
    Content note / Note this: being healthy and losing weight are not always the same thing! Health has a unique meaning to every individual body!
    That being said: for me getting healthy and knocking off weight go hand-in-hand at this point in time. From May-September I ate poorly, rested poorly, drank too much, drowned in stress, and had no time or motivation to work out at all. That plus medication changes has resulted in what is, for my body, unhealthy poundage.
    I miss swimming. I miss yoga. I don't miss running, fuck running, but I miss being able to run I guess? I miss punching my bag. I want to have Korra arms. And I have, quite reasonably, 10-20 lb I could lose before being even close to "danger". (Trust me, I'm a Taurus; we don't diet.)
    This is something I can make happen by 01 Jan 2016.

  2. Inhabitable basement [metric: obvious]
    Right now the basement is storage, which is part of what basements are for, but mine opens up to my patio (and grill, and fire chimney) and has a nice little area by the windows where friends could sit and drink wine and grill things. I've two drum sets in my basement and my keyboard, all of which I have been missing desperately. (I miss music! I dream about pianos.) My workout area is functional, but not at all welcoming. My laundry area could use some sprucing.
    Much of the storage is related to the above, which means I just need to sort it and work through it. A good part, however, is my grandmother's stuff. She finally passed away in August (I am not sure I even mentioned it here; I was too broken by it to do so) and I do not mind storing her things forever but need to go through them and decide which way makes sense.
    This is, also, quite doable by 2016, and having those areas back in my life will please me immensely.

  3. Shame room --> Craft room [metric: obvious]
    I want to turn my spare bedroom into a crafting room, to house sewing / knitting / beading / anything else I may start doing. Right now it's a shameful repository of clothes-to-be-donated and a few boxes from moving (not original boxes - these were empty boxes that were repacked with "shit i do not want to deal with rn" and hidden).

  4. Plan for the greatroom [metric: having an estimate / loan]
    I have plans in my head to redo my entire greatroom, which started with my neverending desire to replace the horribly stained carpet in there and grew into a really, really epic floor plan. I need to get it from my head onto the page, then find a contractor who can give me estimates on time / cost to make it happen. Why not? Houses are investments, and my cafe-bar thing will be incredible.

  5. Work-Life Balance [metric: ???]
    I need to prove to myself that I can, in fact, work the kind of job that pushes all of my success buttons without killing myself. The next 3 months will be busy, as always, but not deadly, so it's time to fucking do it. I still don't know how to make a metric for this; maybe I can use success on the other Resolution points, because they won't happen if I continue to use my energy on work.

  6. Mental Peace [metric: ???]
    I went back through some journal entries and I've been in a massive depression funk since early 2014. That's too long. It has started to severely affect my health and my job. I need to attack this. I realize depressions don't "go away" but I haven't tried anything really and I at least deserve an effort.

  7. Write Again [metric: get some word count] No real comments. I just miss writing.

I stopped there, since there are really only 3 months left in the year, and they will contain not only the major hols of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, but also the birth of my newest niece or nephew, so I'm well aware that this is a lot to do in that time frame. (Obviously they won't need to be complete, but I work better with deadlines, even self-imposed ones. Better to not let myself cheat.)

There. Public posting makes it real, right?

seventhe: (Default)
1. Swim 30 min of laps.

2. Come home. Have leftover crab cake and copious wine from a box.

3. Play FFVI and live blog it on Twitter.

4. Get defriended on Twitter.

5. Eventually, eat a brownie.

on the gym

Aug. 16th, 2012 07:39 am
seventhe: (Rydia: whyt)
I've been doing moderately better at getting my workouts in. I say 'moderately' because I've been hampered by my neck -- I've had the stabbing can't-turn-my-head type of pain on and off but more or less consistently for the last 6 weeks. Some days my neck will move and it's just pain, maybe a 4 on the pain scale; other days it locks up and I can't look over my shoulder or touch my ear to my shoulder, and that's somewhere like an 8 or 9. It's easy for me to ignore lower levels of pain - I haven't had a pain-free day in at least seven years - but this is severe and hampering enough that I'm finally taking steps to get it looked at. My chiropractor says it's a pinched nerve. My doctor gets to weigh in this afternoon. More on that later; the point is, I've been fighting whatever this injury/malady is, and many days, I don't feel right doing any kind of full workout when I'm in that much pain.

The real point of this post is that I'm thinking of switching gyms.

Right now I'm a member of RPFitness and I don't really have any problems with it. It's a very nice gym. The equipment is well-kept, it's rarely too crowded to do what you want to do, and it's about $38/month. They offer some classes for free (yoga, some body pump type classes, spinning), and some you have to pay for (the "FIT" classes, which are kind of like 30 minutes of BodyRock with a trainer), but with my schedule my ability to attend classes is limited. Right now I only visit once, maybe twice a week, to use their weight machines, freeweights, and other equipment, because I'm running outside so much. I've already been considering alternatives, because $38/month is only a dollar a day from one point of view, but if I only go 4-8 times a month, isn't there some other way I can do those exercises and not pay for it? You know?

The new gym that I'm looking at is $53/month, but it has a pool. Recently, for whatever reason, I've really been missing swimming. I was a state-level varsity swimmer for all four years in high school, and I taught swim lessons during the summers I was a lifeguard to help put myself through school. I love swimming, I always have, and as I get older and these fucking injuries get worse and worse, I've started thinking about it more and more. I may have come to terms with what running does for my body but that doesn't mean I like it. At all. And I won't know until I try, but since swimming is a known quantity, a known positive, I feel like I'd be more likely to stick with a workout routine that incorporated swimming than I have been with running - I can train for races, but I've proven that left to my own devices I rarely run (until I start feeling gross). Consistency has always been my problem and it's stupid to assume that will just go away with a simple switch, but at the same time, if it's something I enjoy more, I should be less likely to skip it.

So for $15/month more I would have everything I have now, plus access to a track, plus access to a pool. And a hot tub and sauna.

In September I'll be done with my race commitments, and I have really been thinking about putting running on the back burner and trying three months of using swimming as my cardio. I called RPFitness, and I can actually "suspend" my account for up to three months - I won't use their gym and won't pay for a three-month period, but if I decide to go back, I can do so without having to pay their initiation/enrollment fee again since my account was suspended rather than cancelled.

Of course, to join the other gym I will have to pay an enrollment fee, which is... usually it's something like $275 which is ha ha ha no, but right now they're running a deal until the end of August, and the fee is very highly discounted. So on one hand right now seems like a great time to try it out - I can suspend my RPF membership, pay a lower fee, try the other gym out for 3 months, and make a decision in November.

On the other hand: I have to do it before the end of August, and the Akron Marathon Relay we always run is at the end of September, so in September I'll still be heavily running because I'll be training for the race. Also, even the discounted enrollment fee is still a lot of money and I won't get that back, whether I stick with the new gym or return to the old: it's lost on the chance that I'll like this gym better. Even though I have a good job and solid savings, poor!Sev still lives in my backbrain, and I don't like just throwing money around simply because I have it available.

Pros and Cons because I love lists )


So that's what I'm musing on today.
seventhe: (Edge/Rydia: no return)
Where by "this" I mean "I legitimately haven't spoken to a single person other than cashiers at various stores since I left work on Thursday." goodbye, social life and all relationships, I want to be a hermit for my 30th birthday.

Last week was bad enough that I came into this weekend knowing I needed a break. So I really focused, this weekend, on just doing stuff I wanted to do. When I wanted to be productive, I was, but I made a really distinct point of doing stuff I knew I just plain liked, stuff for fun, stuff to relax. Whenever I started to feel guilty about it - because let's be honest, my to do list isn't getting any shorter - I reminded myself that because of the holiday this week I have an extra long weekend, from Wed-Sun -- and Wed, Thurs, and Fri are all mine (Sat and Sun may go to painting the basement). This actually worked, to put off the guilt anyway, and I did some relaxing.

The shittiest thing is that i can tell it's all kind of simmering under the surface -- I couldn't sleep in this weekend, for example. I woke up at 6:30 am like clockwork. Although I did refuse to get out of bed for an hour or two because fuck that, but ... My brain knows there are things going on. Thanks for the help, body, you traitorous fuckhole. My neck/shoulders are still knotted and full of sharp stabbing pains, even after two days of generous hot pad application. Oh well; I tried.

(EDIT to add:) See, it isn't that I don't idle well -- I do. I idle with the best of them. I can actually lie on my own floor and stare at the ceiling and think about absolutely nothing for a really long time and enjoy it. I look at these entries and it looks like I always have to be busy, like i always have to be doing something, and sweet fucking hell, no I don't. what it is: I don't idle well when I have other stuff looming. Especially deadlines or responsibilities that involve other people. And so when I'm getting to this edge, to the end of my own patience, I seriously sometimes have to keep myself busy with busywork -- do things that are JUST enough to take my mind off of the other stuff (since my brain is legitimately always going) while maintaining as low an energy level as possible.

I spent time on Fri and Sat out at the complex pool, alternating between swimming and reading. There's something really decadent about reading books poolside -- something clicks in my head and says, this is relaxing. It's some kind of Pavlovian doggish vacation cue, a combination of my absolute love for water (god, I miss swimming; I spent about an hour trolling local gyms to see which ones have a pool and whether I can afford them), my love for reading and books (talk about relaxing and enjoyable things I don't have enough time for anymore), and just something about sitting on a pool chair in the horrendously fiendishly hot Ohio sun we had this weekend, sipping an iced coffee and either reading Becky's summer assignment or just dozing and letting the sun dry me off. I couldn't take it for very long because heat is gross, but for the couple hours I did, it was like forcing relaxation. Which is hilarious in retrospect. But I'll remember it.

I've also solved my bathing suit dilemma. I am a little bit too old for itty bitty string bikinis, I don't like them anyway, and -- I am a swimmer; I want a suit I can actually swim in. I ended up going to Dick's Sporting Goods and picking up some sporty Reebok two-pieces that are super classy and actually made to be functional. I'm so pleased. I give absolutely negative shits about whether I look like a brazen beach bunny or whatever the fuck I am supposed to look like. I am obscenely out of fucks for swimsuits.

I played a lot of FFXIII. I watched some Full Metal Alchemist, and some Criminal Minds. I started knitting -- one thing I've been missing, genuinely, is having a hobby that creates an actual thing. Writing creates a story, yes (and uh, can we talk about how much I've missed writing?), but I also like hobbies that make things. That's why I like brewing, and cooking. So yeah, I looked up some nice patterns, and started knitting. I'm trying to take actual notes so that if I lose my place I won't be entirely lost four months from now when I am like, What is this purple clusterfuck???

I also worked out a bunch, and spent some time planning out a workout schedule for the next few weeks that I hope I can stick to. I spent today doing a bunch of cooking, plus folding one million loads of laundry, and doing some cleaning.

I think it was a good weekend. And I only have to survive two days of work and then I have another small break. This couldn't have been better timed. if I can just get some sleep and this knot out of my neck, and a couple more breather days to get actually caught up on life, maybe I can get rid of this feeling that there's a giant stormcloud riding me.



Oh, and. SIGN UP FOR THE CLAIM A THON IF YOU WANT IN :D These promps are awesome, it's gonna be SWEEEEEEET

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