seventhe: (Snorlax: fuckin owns)
[livejournal.com profile] sir_hilldo has updated! Part Six stars the beautiful and competent Princess Grace, who is trying to save the handsome but less competent Sir Hilldo from certain doom! Follow Lady Grace's perilous adventures through the chilling depths of the Haunted Forest and the even more chilling depths of Flex, a Gay Bar for Ogres Of All Persuasions.

( Part 6 found here! )
seventhe: (Snorlax: fuckin owns)
[livejournal.com profile] sir_hilldo is in danger of being updated this week.

That's all I'll say for right now.

p.s. READ IT.
seventhe: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] sir_hilldo

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. JOIN. PASS IT AROUND.

EDIT: This is also your last chance to play this week's FFDQ!! Results tomorrow at my lunch time! Better get your answers in now!! Can I use some more exclamation points!!

DUAL EDIT BASED ON SIR HILLDO USERINFO: I find it really funny that other people apparently have "not getting herpes" in their interests.

I mean, yeah, I'm certainly interested in not getting herpes, but...
seventhe: (Sev: I have Asshat Disorder)
Penis Text Adventures, Part V
Rating: R for profanity and suggestive themes?
Characters: Sir Hilldo, Grace, Kitty Kitty, the pony horse, some cute fucking unicorns, some (actually) fucking orcs, a horny wizard, and a menacingly ugly pink fur coat.

Summary: In which our hero and heroine move forward with their quest, Kitty Kitty becomes even more useful, a wizard hits on Grace, and we almost get assassinated!

Notes: HAY [livejournal.com profile] jennyclarinet THIS NOTE IS FOR KURT: THERE ISN'T ANY PORN IN THIS. WE PROMISE.

I told you I'd get it up before the Super Bowl party. >.>

Being an expert liar yourself, you know what bullshit sounds like. After all, that used to be half of what came out of your mouth, unless you were around a woman you were trying to bang, at which point it was more like 98%. You'd like to think you are more honest now though, the whole respectable knight gig and all. )


It's funny; we write these things and I'm thinking, man, this one isn't any good... and then I read it over and I seriously can't stop laughing.
seventhe: (Rydia: power)
Penis Text Adventures, Part IV
Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, Grace, Kitty Kitty, orcs, an ogre, and an awkward manifestation of herpes

Summary: In which things actually happen, but still manage to be funny, at least to us. Secrets about Grace are revealed! Treasure is found! Kitty Kitty eats everything in sight! JELLO PUDDING POPS

Orc Balls make you breathe fire )

- - -

And, in an awkward abuse of my awesome paid-account powers, I present you with the Sir Hilldo Poll!

To flirt with Sir Hilldo, click here. )
seventhe: (Edea: I know you're looking at my breast)
Yes, that's right! It's another ACTION-PACKED POST FROM SEV.

JanNoWriMo, my fake NaNo to make up for the fact that November always sucks a nut for writing in my personal schedule, will officially start Monday, Jan 07. Because I say so! Also because a lot of the players will be gone this weekend at Ohayocon. Although if you want to start right now, go ahead! You're awesome.

The point of JanNoWriMo is basically to write as many words as you can! I will be starting with HNtDB and [livejournal.com profile] bottle_of_shine's country music cowboy bodyguard porn (NAY A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY? HAPPY BIRTHDAY! PORN FOR YOU AS SOON AS I CAN!) and then moving into origific. There's no 50K goal; there's no 50K limit. We're just writing words. Set your own goal and come write with me; I need people to cheer me on. XD

AND ON THAT NOTE

IT'S THE NEXT CHAPTER OF SIR HILLDO

OVER FIVE WEEKS LATE

THIS ONE'S FOR [livejournal.com profile] jennyclarinet! Who is hot.

Penis Text Adventures, Part III
Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, some shitty orcs, a mysterious girl, a surprisingly cute pet, and drunks!

Summary: In which a plot takes over and all of you invariably get bored and tell us to STFU and/or go back to being funny. Sir Hilldo defends his slut maiden's honor, amuses the townsfolk, and gets a kitty!

The Shield of +1 to Herpes )- - -

Sometimes I make me laugh.
seventhe: (Sev: I have Asshat Disorder)
OK, [livejournal.com profile] hilldo and I are apparently super fucking retarded. Super!

Penis Text Adventures, Part II
Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, some shitty orcs, a mysterious girl, and a huge ass ogre

Summary: In which things actually happen and a plot appears! Fireballs, jewels, and battle! Oh, and there might have been some cucumber rape.

Yes, there's more  )

Fuck, dude. This thing is like 5000 words long and it is all going towards NaNo.
seventhe: (Sev: I have Asshat Disorder)
OK, so apparently when [livejournal.com profile] hilldo and I get bored (and make cock jokes), this is what happens.

Penis Text Adventures, Part I
Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, his penis, some guards, a couple kids, a baby momma, and a PONY horse

Summary: In Which the Good Sir Hilldo wakes up naked, accepts a quest from a Fair baby momma Maiden, catches a horse using nothing but the charm of his pelvic thrusting, and kills an orc.

What do you do when work is really, really boring? )

P.S. If we've made you laugh let us know, because we'll be doing this all week and I'd rather know not to post it if no one thinks we're funny at all.

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