I empathize with you a ton here. D: ... and I'm probably going to tl;dr about related issues, so my apologies in advanced for a long and rambling comment.
My eyesight is not as bad as yours, though it is pretty bad, averaging around -8.5 (and yes, definitely sometimes more or less depending on blood sugar, though I don't notice the change as much with glasses), and I have had glasses since I was around 4 or 5, though I might have needed them sooner, and I honestly cannot remember what it was like without them. My vision is more or less 100% correctable, with glasses (not with contacts), and I am also considered legally blind sans corrective lenses and thus cannot do things like drive without them. Not that I'd want to, but it's actually illegal for people like us. xD;
Though on the legallity issue - because we both can have our eyesight corrected with lenses of some sort to better than 20/180 or 20/200 (I forget which it is), we don't qualify for the legal disability-related stuff. Or at least that's what I recall from when I did a bit of research on it some years back?
I used to wear contact lenses, but my eyes tend to dry out easily, and I also tend to stay up long hours, so I don't like hard contact lenses (because I want to be able to see for longer than I should have them in). But soft contact lenses cannot fully correct my sight, because of the blood sugar change issue, because I have a fairly bad astigmatism and because I have that high proscription, which means that the lenses tend to be fairly thick for contacts. Moreover, because of that astigmatism, they need to be those specially weighted astigmatism sorts so that they orient correctly in my eyes.
So -- although I experimented with them in middle and high school, in the end I preferred the sharper vision and less hassle afforded me with glasses, though I can totally understand the appeal of contacts with peripheral vision and stuff. But being able to read street signs + having to take less time to bother about my eyes >>> clearer peripheral vision for me, especially because it's not always even that clear, thanks to the distortion around the edge of lenses and so forth anyawy.
It doesn't matter where I go for glasses, because no matter what - due to the speciality these lenses must have, with both a high proscription and astigmatism - my lenses will be expensive. And even with the 'ultrathin' plastics they have now for lenses, still they are thick. And the edges have a lot of chromatic aberration, splitting things like a prism. Which can be cool when I'm bored and there are windows or LED displays or stuff around, because depending on the angle I look at them, I can make the colors separate from each other in different directions. Except that it can also be distracting, but mostly it's cool. xD;
I'm only 20 right now, so I haven't really thought much about laser surgery, yet, though I've also been told I'd be a good candidate for it, though my astigmatism would have to be evaluated, and also although I do not have diabetes, I have a condition that renders me somewhat pre-diabetic and at a very high risk for developing it, if I don't manage my blood sugar and such /now/. And we all know about blood sugar and eyesight... But I'm very much with you on the fear of becoming blind. Sure, the risk isn't /that/ high, but it's there, and oh dear god, what if we're the unlucky statistics?
Still, I hope that the process goes well for you!
And yet -- you're right. How do we have any right to complain when we can see? When we can see color, even?
There will always be people worse off than you in some way or another, but I do not think that necessarily detracts from the fact that you also have a problem that gives you special concerns that are perfectly legitimate for you to bring up and address. But part of it is, I think, all in your attitude -- do you dwell on your personal disabilities and problems and try to seek attention/pity/etc. from them? Or do you try to work through them? Do you look on yourself as the worst off or do you recognize and acknowledge that there are other people who are just as bad or worse off? And that, I think, is where all the difference is.
no subject
My eyesight is not as bad as yours, though it is pretty bad, averaging around -8.5 (and yes, definitely sometimes more or less depending on blood sugar, though I don't notice the change as much with glasses), and I have had glasses since I was around 4 or 5, though I might have needed them sooner, and I honestly cannot remember what it was like without them. My vision is more or less 100% correctable, with glasses (not with contacts), and I am also considered legally blind sans corrective lenses and thus cannot do things like drive without them. Not that I'd want to, but it's actually illegal for people like us. xD;
Though on the legallity issue - because we both can have our eyesight corrected with lenses of some sort to better than 20/180 or 20/200 (I forget which it is), we don't qualify for the legal disability-related stuff. Or at least that's what I recall from when I did a bit of research on it some years back?
I used to wear contact lenses, but my eyes tend to dry out easily, and I also tend to stay up long hours, so I don't like hard contact lenses (because I want to be able to see for longer than I should have them in). But soft contact lenses cannot fully correct my sight, because of the blood sugar change issue, because I have a fairly bad astigmatism and because I have that high proscription, which means that the lenses tend to be fairly thick for contacts. Moreover, because of that astigmatism, they need to be those specially weighted astigmatism sorts so that they orient correctly in my eyes.
So -- although I experimented with them in middle and high school, in the end I preferred the sharper vision and less hassle afforded me with glasses, though I can totally understand the appeal of contacts with peripheral vision and stuff. But being able to read street signs + having to take less time to bother about my eyes >>> clearer peripheral vision for me, especially because it's not always even that clear, thanks to the distortion around the edge of lenses and so forth anyawy.
It doesn't matter where I go for glasses, because no matter what - due to the speciality these lenses must have, with both a high proscription and astigmatism - my lenses will be expensive. And even with the 'ultrathin' plastics they have now for lenses, still they are thick. And the edges have a lot of chromatic aberration, splitting things like a prism. Which can be cool when I'm bored and there are windows or LED displays or stuff around, because depending on the angle I look at them, I can make the colors separate from each other in different directions. Except that it can also be distracting, but mostly it's cool. xD;
I'm only 20 right now, so I haven't really thought much about laser surgery, yet, though I've also been told I'd be a good candidate for it, though my astigmatism would have to be evaluated, and also although I do not have diabetes, I have a condition that renders me somewhat pre-diabetic and at a very high risk for developing it, if I don't manage my blood sugar and such /now/. And we all know about blood sugar and eyesight... But I'm very much with you on the fear of becoming blind. Sure, the risk isn't /that/ high, but it's there, and oh dear god, what if we're the unlucky statistics?
Still, I hope that the process goes well for you!
And yet -- you're right. How do we have any right to complain when we can see? When we can see color, even?
There will always be people worse off than you in some way or another, but I do not think that necessarily detracts from the fact that you also have a problem that gives you special concerns that are perfectly legitimate for you to bring up and address. But part of it is, I think, all in your attitude -- do you dwell on your personal disabilities and problems and try to seek attention/pity/etc. from them? Or do you try to work through them? Do you look on yourself as the worst off or do you recognize and acknowledge that there are other people who are just as bad or worse off? And that, I think, is where all the difference is.