everyone was right
Turns out a break really was exactly what I needed.
It sure wasn't long enough; 3 days off work does not curefour months two years of incredible ongoing stress with no break at all. But it does help. Small recovery is better than no recovery.
I actually did not do a whole lot of the things that were on my list. I spent a lot of time with my brain just - off. I slept a lot - a lot. I wasted a lot of time. I re-read books.
It was oddly refreshing.
I'm not going to pretend I'm anywhere near "OK". I realize that I'm struggling here. But it was good to take some time to put a little pause into everything, to spend some time focused on me / focused on my home / focused on doing absolutely fuck nothing.
It sure wasn't long enough; 3 days off work does not cure
I actually did not do a whole lot of the things that were on my list. I spent a lot of time with my brain just - off. I slept a lot - a lot. I wasted a lot of time. I re-read books.
It was oddly refreshing.
I'm not going to pretend I'm anywhere near "OK". I realize that I'm struggling here. But it was good to take some time to put a little pause into everything, to spend some time focused on me / focused on my home / focused on doing absolutely fuck nothing.