the trick is to keep breathing

I am sitting in the waiting room of Lab Corp right now waiting for my blood draw (with bonus peeing test). I haven't eaten breakfast. I haven't had coffee. These are both cardinal sins in SevLand. It has been an expensive and depressing week for health in SevLand. (edit: I was interrupted for the test and am now happily seated at my desk with coffee post-breakfast.)

Yesterday I took Marzy in for his echocardiogram checkup. His heart murmur has gotten no better; while it's still better than it was at his very first visit (when he wasn't on any drugs or anything), it's worse than his last checkup. The obstruction in his heart is getting worse and the walls of his heart are thickening (from overwork), and while they were examining him they did see one fully stopped beat, which means he is at the maximum dose of atenolol he can be on. The thickening and the obstruction are so bad that they're starting to worry about heart failure and blood clots -- although he is still asymptomatic at home, which is still a good sign amidst all the bad news.

They've put him on another drug, one that will help prevent blood clots. There's a small chance that this new drug will act synergistically with his current dose to improve the murmur - it isn't a proven thing with the drug, but they've seen it happen in a few cases, so it is worth trying. It's an additional $10-14/month I guess (more expensive for humans but apparently I get a break because cats?) and he has to go back in 6 months for another echo.

I was pretty upset yesterday. I cried in the car on the way to giant eagle to get his new drugs, and then accidentally a diet coke from the store while I was waiting and cleaned myself up in the bathroom. My poor little baby and his little broken heart. He is so lucky that I found him and kept him, because i am a crazy cat lady who will pay $$$ to take care of him, and probably no one would have even found it until it was too late. Asshole. I love my cats more than I have loved anything ever and I hate it.

Plus I've got all these medical bills coming in (X-rays haven't shown up yet, but just refilled my inhaler, I look, $120) and physical therapy coming up and I may not be doing a whole lot of anything come September because dollars.

Bodies. Why.

So I have three cats. Let me get this out there first: I love cats. I have always loved cats; I love dogs too - I don't think you have to like one or the other; some people do but there are plenty of us who like both - but my lifestyle isn't really appropriate for a dog. I work 10-hour days and I'm already out of the house for 11.5 hours straight because of it; add in grad school, the gym, and the errands it takes to be a damn adult, and it's easy for me to be out of the house for 14 hours. That's only an average day. That isn't fair to do to any dog - dogs take a lot of commitment and responsibility (to get a good dog, anyway) and that just isn't feasible. So, I have three cats.

I love my cats.

I love cats in general. They are affectionate and friendly, but not clingy or needy - just like me. They want things when they want them and no one can really convince them otherwise, unless it's food - just like me. They actually need space and alone time and will be sure to get it whenever necessary - just like me. They are fuzzy and cute and make adorable noises, which I am not and don't, but hey, a girl can't do everything.

I love pets and I talk to mine all the time, like people. Because I come from crazystock, the cats talk back (yes, they all have 'voices'). They all have personalities, they all have habits, and they all have places in my heart.

( So these are my cats. Lots of photos, guys, made small for easy access! )

I know my photos are old -- I think they max out at 6 months, and they are so much bigger now; I want to take a video (HAPPY KITTY VIDEO, Y/Y?) and even if I can't I'll try to get some of the photos off of my phone so that you can at least see how freaking gigantic the kittens are now. WHY DO KITTENS GROW. :(

They're small and cute and so very adorably MINE, and I am so very glad that I can provide a good home to three cats who really needed it. "Cat dreams do some true" is what Jeff and I say to them, and it's so very true. They are the luckiest fuckers in the entire world.

And those are my cats!

EDIT: I came upstairs after reading this post, and Marzy had knocked every single bottle of vitamins off of my dresser and onto the ground (that's like 5 bottles) and Porter was sleeping in a laundry basket. That should tell you everything you need to know.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting and contribute if there are any spaces! DW || LJ