1. Come home from work exhausted. Lie down on the floor. To take a nap, go to (2). To start drinking immediately, go to (3). To start working, go to (4).
2. Crawl onto couch or into bed. Doze and fall asleep. You wake up, and it's 20:00! Fuck! To go back to sleep, go to (5). To start drinking, go to (3). To start working, go to (4).
3. You pour a giant glass of wine. For funsies, you grab your vapor cigarette. You try to watch some Criminal Minds to distract yourself from the shithole that is your life. That's right, we are watching TV about serial killers to calm down. Go with it, asshole. Have another glass of wine. Go to (6).
4. You fucking idiot. You can't concentrate! Go take a(nother) nap (2) or have a drink (3).
5. You roll over and go (back) to sleep. Chances are, you'll also sleep through your alarm(s) tomorrow morning and wake up at 8:30 already late for work. You're exhausted and your body has just completely given out on you. Also, have fun being behind tomorrow, asshole! [END]
6. You get out your folder of homework and/or your work laptop. In the background, Derek Morgan is being incredibly hot. You struggle for motivation and concentration, but can't find any. What would motivate you? To go punch your bag in the basement, go to (7). To have another drink, go to (8). Gonna say fuck it and sleep? Go to (5).
7. You consider getting up for a few brief moments, and then have a really desperate and pathetic laugh at yourself and pour another glass of wine instead. Go to (8).
8. You're halfway through a bottle of wine. Good work!! You're going through email and answering some easy ones. Have you got your second wind yet? If so, go to (9). If not, go to (10).
9. Second wind is awesome! You have some more wine, plow through your homework (procedure edits and updates), blitz your inbox, and get some other stuff done. Shit, it's 3:30am! Time to go to bed, dumbass. Tomorrow you'll be tired AND hungover. Good work. [END]
10. With reluctance, you put away the homework folder and your laptop, and sadly go to bed. Now, not only are you exhausted and had too much wine, you're feeling like a horribly incompetent fuckwit: now you'll be tired tomorrow AND behind AND unsatisfied. You fucking suck. Have a good day. [END]