the trick is to keep breathing

This has been a particularly busy and interesting day. I had one simple checkup this morning but it blossomed into an all-day medical ~extravaganza~ ( /rupaul voice) that I'm simultaneously hopeful about, exhausted from, and dreading the slew of medical bills.

Today I had a checkup and discussion with my pain doctor, went to get a slew of x-rays on my lumbar spine and sacroiliac joint, went to my general doctor, got a major new prescription, and am having like a dozen blood tests done tomorrow. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. When I do something I do it thoroughly. I hope today results in some answers.

( cut for medical talk )

Since I am apparently incapable of keeping track of anything unless I write it online in this journal, I got me a flu shot today.

Countdown to when I get sick again starting in 5.. 4..

edit: IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY PUNCHED ME REPEATEDLY IN THE SHOULDER. FUCK.

1. Hilariously, even though I've been going to PT for 4 weeks now, it has just yesterday processed through my insurance, so that I can see how much this costs.

2. Each trip to PT costs me ~$50.

3. I've been going twice a week.

4. I kind of can't afford to keep doing that for too much longer.

5. I've at least hit my deductible for the year :/

6. Won't know how the deductible changes the costs until the next batch of sessions ring up ...probably like a month from now because that's fair

7. I swear to god there will be one year I am healthy enough to NOT hit my deductible

8. ...yeah right

9. I'm going to go cry into my coffee now.

10. laterz


(edit) 11. Is crossposting busted??

Sorry, I have been dead as doors lately. I got hit with one of those horrible whirlwind illness attacks I get sometimes, because my body is a failure and I lack a complete functioning immune system. In fact, it's my own complete trash compactor disaster of an immune system that's broken this time; I have an infection in my lymph nodes. I'm on a new antibiotic so stay tuned to see what sort of fun games I'm going to have with the side effects this time (previous records include unexpected unconsciousness, nausea, hallucinations, and being able to feel my own kidneys).

I was all excited about my new gym and Fitocracy and then this happened. Cool work, body. Tomorrow morning before I leave I'm hoping to get in at least an easy run if nothing else; I've had to take this week off so far completely (because I don't think it's recommended to run 5 miles with a fever of ~102) and the Relay is in a month and man, I'm gonna suck at it.

Work has not calmed down. It has gotten worse. We used to only have to meet with the Japanese Overlords twice a year, May and November, which was nice - preparation for these meetings can take a full week in itself, gathering data and making slides and remaking slides and sending your draft to the Overlords and then updating it based on eight peoples' suggestions, and now we're apparently doing this quarterly. It's supposed to just be a Project Review but the Overlords are all coming over here and their expectations are basically just like the (former) biannual meetings and it's just getting ridiculous. Basically this means that a full four months out of my year at this point are spent doing nothing but slides and emails and presentations and meetings and pre-meeting meetings and post-meeting meetings, rather than just two, and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so tired of my life

Went to physical therapy on Tuesday and as expected it felt kind of bullshitty. I'm not saying it's a waste because I know it isn't, really, but the guy gave me like two exercises to do on my neck and if stretching could fix this shit it would be fixed already because I actually stretch my neck out this way a lot, but hey, sure, I'll give it a try and maybe the $$$$ that I'm paying for PT will make it magically work this time. I don't mean to be so down on PT but it just doesn't seem helpful. I am a skeptical cynical fuck and I have no idea how this tiny shit is actually going to help the problem. I seriously feel like I should stop throwing money down the gigantic toilet of chiropractors and PT and instead just buy a goddamned shoulder massage every two weeks. It would be cheaper than all of this crap.

On the plus side, the August Chocobo Races will be ending soon, and this first month was fucking awesome. There are already 14 works and I'm hoping maybe a couple more will slip in under the wire. Plus, I actually wrote for it, which is amazing because I haven't been able to really write in months, but I managed to spin out some Lightning/Snow/Serah that's more of an idea and may spawn 20,000 words of its own if I can ever find my motivation again.

I think I left it in the box of wine

Anyway there is a lot of awesome small fandom and overlooked character work in there, and I am loving it. Next month's theme is going to be soooooo awesome I am super stoked for it >.>

What else do I do

OH YEAH I have been replaying FFVI in small-ish chunks. I've been reminded of a bunch of things I love about this game, and I have to admit that the story ideas at least are flowing madly. I've been mostly talking about it on Twitter, although this week I was way too sick to actually play and type on my phone at the same time. By the way, the World of Ruin and Kefka's Light of Judgment are mad fucking trippy when you're already hallucinating from fever. There were little colored worms at the edges of my vision and when the screen flashed it felt pretty damn strange I put the DS down shortly after that and just went to bed because it can't really be good but in retrospect it's kind of hilarious.

So yeah, that has been most of my week.