So I cant walk

[seventhe]

So last Thursday around 10:00 I had a bad fall and ended up in the emergency room, with both ankles basically busted.

Cut for discussion of injury. Was taking dogs out to pee, although I do need to say from the start that it wasn’t Cas’ fault. Rainy night, steps are old and slippery, I was wearing flip flops and generally not paying attention because I had just taken on another $100 of work I was going to enjoy having.

The thing to understand about my ankles is that during high school i tore the first of what would be every single remaining ligament in, eventually, both ankles. Because of whatever version of fibro-autoimmune combo pack I have, my ligaments have the strength of a piece of turkey. I’ve torn every single one at least once: inner, outer, completely gross. The time in college remains the only time in my life I have passed out from pain, although I’m surprised I didn’t at this.

Slipped. Fell. Basically fell down two wooden steps’-worth of height onto my concrete block patio. I still have a bruise in a perfect square on my upper arm on the side I landed on. Both ankles gone instantly.

Poor Cas. We love each other, and he was so fucking upset and had no idea how to help. Lick face? Auntie get up? Auntie? Go in, auntie? Lick face! Stop yelling? I yell! No cry. Lick face?

I’m actually not really sure what happened so maybe I did pass out for a bit. Somehow crawled inside across the concrete block porch, got Cas back into his crate, apologized to Eddie (who was supposed to go up next) and again, somehow, crawled upstairs. Neither leg can hold any kind of weight. It’s my knees, and even that doesnt work because crawling on your knees needs you to flex your ankles somewhat to drive them forward. I’m basically dragging myself across the floor with my arms only. Great times!

Got upstairs, messaged Crown, messaged Feathers (who now lives in my basement BUT WAS ON A FUCKING DATE). Got ice on them. Feathers left the movie and bullied me into going to the ER. Which was a good idea actually because my right fibula was actually fractured and the left had a bad ass sprain complete with nasty bruising that hasn’t gone away yet. So, that’s how last weekend started.

Can’t really walk. Couldn’t really even stand the first few days without supporting myself on wheelchair / nearby table / couch / something else. Crown helped make the first floor wheelchair accessible and put together one of the basement beds for me to sleep on in my sunroom cause i cant do stairs. Feathers brought me down enough toiletries that I could brush my teeth and actually wear deodorant. My parents came to visit with groceries and fruits and lots of help getting everything set up so that I can survive first-floor-only for a little while.

Check-up with the ortho on Wednesday put me into a boot - good news; boot FAR better than cast! - and predicted about 6 weeks before I’m back to any normal kind of motions, with next check-up in two.

This certainly isn’t my first time impaired — I spent most of my senior year of high school on crutches or in a wheelchair for a variety of reasons. But that’s very different; you have friends at school willing to help you out so that they can use the elevator, and you have parents at home who still do your laundry and get your mail. I’m nearing 40 and don’t live with my husband for a variety of mutual personal reasons, and I’m kind of lucky to have a basement gremlin in Feathers at this point or I would be, just, you know. Boned.

All projects are behind. Drawing? Writing? Don’t know ‘em. Today for the first time I sat down at my desktop while in the wheelchair and while I can make words, it isn’t really that easy, or that comfortable.

My life as a cripple (patent pending) so far has been interesting. I have my grandmother’s wheelchair, which is great because I have it and didn’t have to pay for one, but not so great in that it’s made to be pushed, rather than for self-propelling. And wheeling myself around on carpet also not made for wheelchair ease is, well, fucking exhausting. I better have massive arms after this. I’ve had to rearrange nearly everything so that I can access it without having to stand up. Hell, even a trip to the bathroom is like a 20-minute quest montage from Lord of the Rings.

The poor cats are not adjusting very well at all.

ANYWAY! Friends! I will be literally useless for at least the next 6 weeks. I still plan on putting out fan stuff just to keep my own sanity, but will it be quality? Who knows! Will i open commissions again? Depends on the emergency room bill! Do i consider crying at least once a day? Of course!!

Love, Sev

Comments

[althea_valara]

*gentle hugs and massive healing vibes*

fuck fuck fuck

[auronlu]

I'm so so sorry. I went down and completely wrecked one ankle so I couldn't walk a year and a half ago and that was like a third of what you're talking about so I have some inkling of what you're going through (like the crawling and living downstairs and shit) but GAAAAAAH.

I feel so so so so much for you and wish you all of the CBD and ice pack vibes and getting through it vibes and hoping swelling goes down soon vibes.

I'm not going to send you suggestions because it gets SO bloody annoying when you're knocked flat on your ass and dealing with too much shit already and everybody and their dog's tick starfs telling you More Things To Do That Might Help, like cone on, you're already at negative spoons and people are assigning homework, buf I will say that a wheeled office chair sometimes handles carpet better (On the other hand it has a greater danger of tipping over what she really don't want right now, plus it's hard to move around grabbing onto furniture when you can't push with your toes.)

May the cats be good nurses and earn their keep looking after you.

[samuraiter]

D-: Maximum sympathy. My wife had a fouled ankle for several years, and that was a trial, but you have, like, the EX Mode version of that.

[queenlua]

ahig;eha;ghe that sucks so much

[pict]

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

[lassarina]

THE WORST

I know I said on text already but if you need anything, including "someone to run around my house doing things for me," you know you have only to make a noise in my direction and I'll be there as fast as my car will go. ♥