the trick is to keep breathing

Today:

• I woke up late, which is surprising, and scrambled to get my lab printed out and things together and cats fed and on the road in the snow with enough food to last through until 6pm -- only to find when I got to campus that UAkron had closed for snow for the day.
  Now, when I went into my UAkron email folder, I did see the notice. But you know what? UAkron sends out emails like every day, I do not read them all, it is like the worst spam I cannot unsubscribe from. And I did not think the roads were that bad, I have driven through worse this season. I did not even think to look.
  So: no lab.


• I went to the gym and ran 6.7 miles. Ran at about a 10:50/mile pace. I did feel like I could have gone faster, and I felt like I could have done more, but the goal is to stay healthy and uninjured so I kept the speed down and kept to my plan on mileage. It was a pretty good run overall. I need to work on getting my cadence faster; a lot of the stuff I'm reading talks about a cadence of ~180 (~90 per foot) and my cadence right now is like 79 (160). I need to take shorter strides to be more efficient. It's hard to train yourself to do that though.


• I ate an entire Subway $5 Footlong and an entire box of vegetable lo mein. I have also drank like 20 glasses of water. Blaming the run, dude, blaming the run.


• Tested out John Freida 3-Day Straight spray on my hair - it's supposed to be a semipermanent relaxer that makes your straightening last for three days. I look pretty fab, sitting here with my laptop gorging on lo mein and possibly in my pajamas.


• I have been waiting to take my antibiotic, hoping that it will again make me pass out but this time maybe closer to bedtime? Yes, I am using this antibiotic as a sleeping pill, I think my body is officially broken as of right now.


• I really don't feel like working. I'm staring at the lab data and feeling rather braindead. Today was kind of surreal in not having lab, really, it was like I didn't even know what to do with all this time. Like, is this how much time normal people have? I kind of boggled.


• God I am still hungry. WTF.

It's snowing today - really snowing - for the first time in Akron. Part of me is secretly pleased: I'm a Buffalo girl, I believe that winter goes with snow, period, and if it's going to be that damn cold outside we all deserve a little gorgeous whiteness. The other part of me forgot to grab gloves as I went out the door and thus is fucking freezing and angry at having to brush the snow off of my car 9,000 times today. Plus driving in the snow can be a little nerve-wracking (not for me, exactly - again, I grew up in it - but for me watching all the other morons on the road). Also, I need windshield-washer fluid and some de-icer. Must make mental note to hit Auto Zone this weekend.

I am soon up to meet with my boss, my co-worker, and everybody's boss about my plans to go back to school part-time and how to fit it in with work. Am a little nervous. Am also hoping that I get my raise notification today, as it's that time of the year and I feel I am due one.

I am still exhausted from the funeral: emotionally, physically, mentally. It was probably my worst travelling experience of all time, and that didn't help the stress and sadness of the occasion at all. I can't wait for the weekend when I can curl up with my kitty and unpack the suitcase and do my damn dishes.

Le sigh. Perhaps I will put up my Christmas tree this weekend - that's guaranteed to cheer one up for the holidays. Plus, Rydia likes to chew on it.

So yesterday, about 4:00-ish, I get a call from my mother. It goes something like this:

Mum: Hi, your dad and I are just calling to make sure you know we're okay.

Me: Huh? *sense of panic growing* HUH?!

Mum: Oh, well, Buffalo got 22 inches of snow yesterday and -

Me: WHAT?!

Mum: Yeah, overnight. *casual-like* So we've got no power and they don't think we'll have any for three days. Your dad and I are in the car and we're just going to drive south until we find somewhere that will feed us a damn pizza.

Me: *still jaw-dropped*

Mum: Yeah, there are like half a million people without power. State of emergency. And all the phone lines are down, so we've only got the cell phones, and we have to charge them in the car - so you have to be careful when you call us, and -

Me: Don't be stupid. Drive to Akron. I've got power and heat.

Mum: *cheerful* If we still have no power by tomorrow, we might have to! Although I don't know who would bail the sump pump if we left! Your dad says we've already bailed approximately two tons of water out of the basement. Anyway, talk to you later!

Me: *dies*

---

So today, about noon-ish, I give them a call back to see how things are going, and whether or not I need to vacuum and clean up if I'm having guests.

Me: Hey, mum. How are things.

Mum: Not too good, sweetie. We just got in an accident, like fifteen minutes ago. Ingaborg [her red CR-V] is dead.

Me: *jaw-drop*

Mum: We were driving down 20-A, looking for some food, and a truck hit a bad spot and ended up completely sideways, sliding down the road. I thought he would miss me. He didn't.

Me: *still cannot form a coherent sentence*

Mum: You should see my poor car. I think I apologized to her five times. Your dad keeps thinking I'm talking to him.

Me: *almost in tears* Mum, please. Just come to Akron until everything gets better up there.

Mum: We've got to go home and sit in the 50'F house on our cellphones and talk to insurance so that I can get a rental car - wait, the cells don't work very well in the house, so we'll probably have to pull your dad's car into the driveway and sit there with them plugged in. *pause* At least there'll be heat that way.

Me: *still can't talk*

Mum: Alright, we've gotta go, our ride is here. I'll call you tonight.

---

So here I sit, alternating between chuckling at my parents' strength under adversity and burting into tears as I wonder in a panic what the fuck can go wrong next. I don't want to think about it.

At least now I understand why they keep threatening to move to North Carolina on me.