you know

I am really tired of the way my body just continues to undermine everything I want it to do. Want to run a half marathon? Well! Ha! You can't train as well as other people because you have asthma, and then when you get really close to running, I'm going to bust up your legs. Want to heal it up by taking time off? That's great, and you're going to get better over the weekend, but then it's going to come back. Want to help it heal with extra sleep because your body already doesn't function well when unrested? HA! INSOMNIA ATTACK SNIPES OVER TWO PRECIOUS HOURS OF SLEEP. HAVE FUN WITH THE AWFUL EXHAUSTED FEELING OF A SLEEPLESS MONDAY MORNING.

My body sucks. Can I have a new one?

a very quick signal boost

I've been meaning to post this for a while, and I wasn't around a computer much this weekend and didn't want to post it from my phone - I wanted to at least think about the words a little bit.

I use AO3; I like AO3, I like it a lot. I have friends who are on the OTW Board, who are involved in Tag Wrangling, who do other things I only vaguely know and understand. So I'm not really involved here - only peripherally.

But... that's kind of the problem (as I say in my comment), because I don't know much about AO3 or the OTW, and they really only appear in my personal fandom circle as "Here's a place you can post that has fixed most structural problems other sites have." They're not present, they're not visible, they're not welcoming. There's no community on AO3, and community is a big part of fandom.

And that sucks.

But it wouldn't be half as bad if I didn't keep hearing faint strains of, but we want you! We want to expand to tiny fandoms, to video games and anime, to non-Western fandoms; we want to involve you. But they don't, and they haven't, and it isn't like Final Fantasy fandom is dead, I compile ff_press once a week, I run ff_exchange; it sure isn't dead and it keeps getting revived every time Squeenix wants another $30 from my wallet.

But they say this, and do nothing; and then other things happen that really make me feel strange and unwelcome.

I know my Circle/FList is full of non-Western media fans: Final Fantasy fans, Chrono Trigger fans, other video game fans; anime fans, Sailor Moon and Cowboy Bebop and I don't even know what else fans; even JPop and KPop and other things that just aren't represented at all on the AO3, that don't see it anywhere in their fandoms, in their daily fannish functioning. We aren't there. A lot of us got mad/hurt/upset at Yuletide this year, too. And we still aren't there. And if you look at their latest poll... we still aren't there.

And so to you guys, I'd like to invite some conversation. You're welcome to do it in this entry if you're more comfortable with me - I'll pass it on to the relevant post. But you're also welcome to do it in a more appropriate place if you can please (a) remember to keep this person's fannish and Board identities separate, as they desire; and (b) are respectful to someone who put a lot of thought, time, and work into compiling a really interesting, informative, helpful, and - you know what - downright painful entry.

I offer up here, for perusal, The OTW Server Poll and Fannish Diversity.

Thoughts welcome, and thank you to the Board member who took the time to put this public, transparent, honest document together.