happy christmastime
Dec. 21st, 2012 11:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seventheI have really mixed feelings about the holidays. I generally enjoy them - somebody who likes sparkly lights, glittery shit, and slightly gaudy decorations as much as I do will always be partial to secular Christmas - hols with my family are a crazy, fun, over-the-top drunken bacchanalia of good feelings like love and nostalgia and being completely hammered. Overall it's a positive experience -- we've figured out a good balance between the gracious, graceful, good-feelings side of gift-giving without straying too much into commercial consumerism or ungrateful demanding, and we have fun with it, which is valuable, and pretty awesome.
But it's also just hard for me. Any season this intense is going to be difficult on my introverted, homebody self: traveling, socializing, family events, people everywhere when all you want to do is go to the grocery and buy some fucking milk, parking lots full and idiots behind the wheel, crowds, noise: overstimulation, excess, a feeling of community that's forced and frustrating. It wears me down. Doesn't help that it's another thing my family gets very into, and while I get into it as much as I can, I often don't have the reserves to engage at the level they do for the length of time and the extent they do, and it's another example of just not being able to keep up with my family on a purely social level. I need breaks from it all. Overstimulation is exhausting and it's bad for me.
Plus traveling and extended family and stuff that should be fun but ends up feeling like a chore: story of the season.
This has been a hard run for me, the end of this year. I'm just exhausted. I've taken a couple days to just be at home in my apartment alone with my cats and the snow, so that I can hopefully recharge my batteries enough to make it through the upcoming bits in a good way rather than a bad way. It's snowing and I have almost all my gifts ready to go and I'm lounging around with coffee and in a bathrobe trying to relax and find some kind of christmas spirit.
Happy hols, everybody.
But it's also just hard for me. Any season this intense is going to be difficult on my introverted, homebody self: traveling, socializing, family events, people everywhere when all you want to do is go to the grocery and buy some fucking milk, parking lots full and idiots behind the wheel, crowds, noise: overstimulation, excess, a feeling of community that's forced and frustrating. It wears me down. Doesn't help that it's another thing my family gets very into, and while I get into it as much as I can, I often don't have the reserves to engage at the level they do for the length of time and the extent they do, and it's another example of just not being able to keep up with my family on a purely social level. I need breaks from it all. Overstimulation is exhausting and it's bad for me.
Plus traveling and extended family and stuff that should be fun but ends up feeling like a chore: story of the season.
This has been a hard run for me, the end of this year. I'm just exhausted. I've taken a couple days to just be at home in my apartment alone with my cats and the snow, so that I can hopefully recharge my batteries enough to make it through the upcoming bits in a good way rather than a bad way. It's snowing and I have almost all my gifts ready to go and I'm lounging around with coffee and in a bathrobe trying to relax and find some kind of christmas spirit.
Happy hols, everybody.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-21 08:40 pm (UTC)2. ENJOY THOSE FEW DAYS. And seriously, don't worry about not having any holiday spirit. I worked in retail for three years: it is the kind of thing that gets killed really fucking easily. Just relax and enjoy yourself and if it gets too much, do what I do — grab a book and hide the fuck away. ♥
no subject
Date: 2012-12-22 06:17 pm (UTC)WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY EVERYWHERE???? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUYING 1000 MCDONALDS BUCKS OR SOME SHIT FOR PRESENTS??? NOBODY WANTS THAT SHIT ANYWAY. I JUST WANT A FUCKING CHEESEBURGER.
*breeeeeathe* AND GROCERY SHOPPING: OMFG! WHY DON'T YOU HAVE FEWER TREE TRIMMING PARTIES BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT IS BS ANYWAY. LIKE WHAT? YOU'RE FEEDING ME TO WORK ON YOUR HOUSE. YOU HAVE TURNED ME INTO A HOUSE ELF. I DO NOT LIKE IT. THERE IS NO HOLLY-FUCKING-JOLLY IN ME ANY DAMN MORE.
....... :S
I was very happy as a child when my parents stopped travelling to Arkansas to celebrate Christmas. It was just like... 4 of us, and the most exciting it got was silly string fights. This year will have booze and fire with the silly string. But there's still only like 5 of us coming.
Even with my in-laws, who have a Norman Rockwell Americana extravaganza, I can escape in the afternoon and go take a nap for 2 hours after gorging on cookies.
TL;DR: you have my sympathy. Also, also, you've had a REALLY REALLY HARD EVERYTHING this year and I don't blame you for wanting to hide under blankets and snuggle your cats. I hope future!Sev's Nonadult Day was just what you needed. <3
no subject
Date: 2012-12-23 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-28 10:59 pm (UTC)I hope you made it through ok, and sorry if I bugged you with my incessant texting.
♥