on disability, and roadblocks

[seventhe]

of course, my incredible new motivation plan and motivated week hit a wall yesterday - bad fibro day, for no reason i could really pinpoint (other than maybe the 3 hours of good sleep my Fitbit says is all i had), came home tired and sorely braindead with my knees feeling like hot coals. I had planned to use the time before justira and I had our Trash TV Tuesday to do some cleaning upstairs and make a new meal, but since I was so fuck tired instead I took a "nap" (i didn't even manage to sleep; it's more "lie on the couch with eyes closed and turn brain off to defrag itself") and ate leftovers. And remained so braindead/fogged up that - while I happily participated in Trash Tv Tuesday - I couldn't manage to do anything else I wanted, like burn stamina in FFRK/FFBE/Mobius. I did end up knitting, but my brain couldn't fucking handle anything with a real pattern, so I just got a ball of pretty yarn and needles and started doing a simple thing to quiet my brain up somewhat.

and even though I got nothing on any of my lists done, I think it's still important to acknowledge that I'm going to have nights like this. My plan to get organized and reclaim the house is going to take longer than I planned. chores are going to get bumped - i had planned to work out last night, hilariously, and that just wasn't gonna happen - and I need to be okay with it; my plans and lists need to be flexible enough that having a fibro day doesn't become something i beat myself up about.