SHITPOSTING FEBRUARY: Kain from FFIV

[seventhe]

alwaysbeenasmiler has provided this prompt, which is delivered with no edits other than autocorrect

And honestly i have MIXED FEELINGS on this little FUCKER cause on one hand I’m like WHINE MORE EMO BOI and on the other hand I’m like but you are fun to play with in fanfiction so it’s like, as MULTI DIRECTIONAL RANT okay

Cause the charaCter that we see is REALLY CLOSE to just being a WHINY BRO about shit like HEY LETS KILL THIS KID CAUSE WE GOT ORDERS and I WANNA BE THE BIGGER BADASS, CECIL, LEMME BE THE BIGGER BADASS FOR ONCE and then at the end hes like oh no my tragic past will alWAYS HAUNT ME I’m gonna stay on this dumb ass mountain and be a wanker which is just like wow GET OVER YOURSELF it is not alL ABOUT YOU (the i dont deserve forgiveness plotline is a real iffy one wiht me; if done right it’s awesome but wow does it get done poorly at whole lot) )(then again I’m a sociopath who will always forgive me cause I’m always right so) (moviNG ON)

But in contrast most of what we see of Kain is him getting an UNHOLY MINDFFUCK at the hands of a GUY WHOS ALSO MINDFUCKED so its really like DOUBLE RAINBOW MINDFUCK there adn thats like well???? I guess i cant blame you ??? I mean i also have the urge daily to fuck off to a mountaintop and speak to no one but that’s because i hate people and cant be assed; but maybe the DOUBLE DECKER MINDFUCKERY makes you hate ppl too?? and that’s the FUN PART TO PLAU WITH IN WRITING cause like what does a DOUBLE PEPPERONI MINDFUCK really do to you? CAN I POKE IT WITH A STICK

The thing with Rosa too is like OKAY i think by the end of the game its p clear that Kain has seen Rosa as ...an object, almost, not really an objec t but this unatTAINABLE GOAL that is HIGH ON ITS PEDESTAL and sure i believe his love for her was real but like what part of the “I KIDNAP U AND SHUT U IN THIS TOWER” is done from love and selfishness and which si the MINDFUCK CUPCAKE WITH MINDFUCK ICING AND A LIL MINDFUCK ON TOP cause I’m p sure that’s the first kind of emotion i’d Go manipulate if i were an evil giant dick brain guy on the moon????

Any7way i think my feeligns for his character differ GREATLY whether you subscribe to the mailing list of “mind control let Kain be his true self” vs “mind control is a bitch yo” AND THAT’S THE HAPS, YALL

Comments

Does Cecil have a moon unit?

[auronlu]

On the one hand I LOVE LOVE YOUR DESCRapIPTIONS OF MIND FUCKERY. (And I am delighted that Siri knows how to spell that word).

On the other hand Kain is dangerously near to being a lunar WANKER in my book. Was he really suffering mind fuckery all the way back he proposed to kill a child, or is he just one of those I WAS ONLY FOLLOWING ORDERS whoops Cecil says it's bad? Did he ever apologize to Rosa, or did he just mope about
how he couldn't be forgiven? (Or, worse did he only apologize to CECIL for putting greasy pawmarks on his bro's property?) I've only played it through once and can't remember.

My feeling was that the mind fuckery unleashed his bottled up desires. Yeah, we all have intrusive thoughts, and I can quote chapter and verse on why judging people on their fantasies/fanfic is gross. But, he didn't write skeevy fanfic about Rosa. he DID THE THING

He didn't fantasize about Rosa falling in love with him, or about romantic walks on the beach or passionate smoochies. No, he was getting his rocks off seeing her tied up and helpless and afraid, worried about her lover, threatened with a fucking sword of Damocles over her head, and hung up by her arms for days. Admittedly that last is reading too much into video game physics (IMMA SUPPLEX A TRAIN)

Kain is a weak willed jealous prick; no one ELSE succumbs to mindfuckery. Afterwards it seems like he just goes off to wallow instead of helping to put the kingdom back together he helped wreck.

I'm probably being too harsh on him for putting a character I
Iiked (with a real, LIVING MOM and a healthy relationship so we didn't have to bother with the WILL THEY FALL IN LOVE? Romance plot). But I never got around to seeing TAY, so I', missing some of Kain's character development.

At any rate, I can see why you enjoy poking him with a stick, even if personally vote for thwapping him with a newspaper.

[thenicochan]

DOUBLE RAINBOW MINDFUCK YEAH

[samuraiter]

10 / 10, would gleefully read CAPSLOCK (readLOCK?) again.

[zen_monk]

RIP pre-brainwash Kain. There was a wealth of speculation and interest in what kind of person he was. Secret test of character action to fake-out murder-out a child to get best friend to find his virtuous conviction again, or guy who actually goes along easier with immoral actions because Baron4EVA? Dissidia Duodecim also adds that “I shall take on the burden of being a traitor for the sake of my friends so I alone can die a noble death because I do extremist solutions that involve harming my friends and ignoring their consent” deal, which I’m all for!

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

Can I just say that this had me rolling.. I AM SO GLAD I SUGGESTED THIS! Seriously...the term double rainbow mindfuck is something that is going in my tags oh my god

[ser_pounce_alot]

you should know this made me laugh A LOT lol

[lassarina]

GOD HIS FUCKING DISSIDIA STUFF

okay like we all know I am fucking here for Kain for five million years because that's how I roll, but mostly it's because I enjoy his suffering but also, dude, your decision making is SO FUCKED UP

and like...I have a lot of thoughts about how he ended up where he did, but. Dude.

[zen_monk]

Dissidia Kain is like when Anakin does morally bad decisions for the “best” overall solution. Maybe during “Star Wars The Clone Wars” Anakin, and not necessarily “Rise of the Sith” Anakin.

Only he’s validated by WOL, aka the obscenely beautiful, well-voiced young Oni-Wan (which I guess... is default Obi-Wan anyway...?).