[30Days]: On Fandom!

[seventhe]

justira asked:
Why are you in fandom! How did you get here! Did you learn anything about yourself from/through being in fandom? For example, did you discover any kinks? =D (And, if you feel comfortable sharing, what are they!)

And I've got a bit to say about this!

Why am I in fandom?
I like to write, and being in fandom helps keep me doing so; there's an audience in fandom I think it's easier to reach out to than with original work. I love the source material, and fandom's a way to express that: reading, browsing art, commenting, sharing; all of these are ways to extend and explore a source material I'm fond of. I like the community; I've met some amazing people through fandom (more on this in a bit) and I enjoy the shared/collaborative feel of it, even if it's just commenting on a friend's drabble with a smiley-face.

I think in a way it's about value. I've watched people change fandoms or drift in and out of fandom because it isn't returning what they value (whether that's attention, comments/reviews, crit/feedback, cult of worshipers etc - value's different for all), and obviously I encourage everyone to shift around until they find a place in a fandom that's rewarding for them. Fandom's supposed to be fun, not frustrating!

Anyway: for me, the value returned is in communications: friends emailing me rambling snippets of fic or ideas for the one where GFs steal Seifer's memory or even just handfuls of porn, people I don't know commenting on fic that's two years old and getting into conversations about this or that pairing, friendships that move on beyond fandom, ideas that grow into ff_exchange or the Kiss Battle or a series of prompts on fuckyeahfinalfantasy -- interactions that go beyond "hay I liked your fic" are what I mean.

It's the connections, the kind of stuff I wouldn't do on my own -- like... I could write and maybe get comments and stuff, but -- I know now that I can write something and people will read it, and if they don't I can send them a note and they'll read it when they have time; it's the feedback, the interaction, and that's what I like.

How did I come to fandom?
Sadface: I have been writing fanfiction since before I knew what it was. Remember Sev is older than most of you, and we didn't have a ton of internet access/time growing up, and so when I spent my time writing an absolutely massive (note: it spanned four 3 1/2 inch disks) FFIV / FFVI crossover, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS FANFIC; I was just like "la de da I am writing this stupid story and I will never tell anyone." It wasn't until college - which for me was after 2000 - that I really recognized fanfiction and figured out what the heck it was. That means I've been writing for over 10 years... wow, that's ridiculous.

Once I found fanfiction.net -- through FF and Harry Potter almost simultaneously -- I started writing more, and I started meeting people. I ended up heading to Livejournal through - well, a collection of people; novel_machinist/drakonlily and crankyoldman/venefica_aura, mostly. They! Were also the first fandom people I ever met, in 2005, when we went to Otakon for the first time. (2005 or 2006? Am I that old...?)

Once I found Livejournal I was pretty much lost.

Things I learned from fandom!

Well, to start it off I have to say that fandom has impacted my life. It isn't subtle. Many people I've met from here have become friends, and some of them not just friends but CLOSE, heart-to-heart, soulmate friends. (And some of them, MAKEOUT FRIENDS, which in my opinion are totally the best kind!) I'm talking real-life friends and real-life impact. I won't get sappy, but I'm going to say: I love you all.

And, GOSH, as for kinks?

Okay, so one of the fun things about fandom is the prevalence of porn. And it's... okay. The path upon which somebody goes from 'oh, there's porn, alright but not my thing' to 'maybe I'll check that out' to 'huh, alright, let's try this now' to 'I MUST READ EVERY PORN FIC OF THIS PAIRING' to 'FUCK PAIRINGS, GIVE ME SOME SERIOUS MAGICKINK' is fabulous! Or, uh, let me say: the SPEED at which THIS particular fan traversed that path was, probably, seriously hilarious.

And then you get to something and you are like, "wait, WHAT? WHAT IS DUBCON DOESN'T THAT MEAN -- UH -- IS THIS -- ohmygod -- fff -- ...THIS IS HOT *FAPS"

OR IS THAT JUST ME?

Okay, so. Fandom's can be a good deal of exploration of sexuality, and I'm just going to throw these things out there for discussion:

- I, uh. I actually kind of like dubcon. >.>
- but since I also like incest fic, uh. *expects mass defriending*
- Kinks I was somewhat aware of in real life (light bondage? uh? *shifty look* ) sometimes translate really well into fanfic and sometimes... don't.
- No porn is better than magic!kink, in my opinion, and I challenge you to change my mind.
- FUCK OR DIE IS TOTALLY OKAY.
- Vanilla missionary-position sex can actually be very hot.
- GIRL ON GIRL.


...and, okay, here are some TRUE CONFESSIONS: I, uh. I really enjoy? Threesomes, moresomes, multiple partner fic? And... uh, fanfic has helped me acknowledge that, full stop. Realize that. Think about that. Etc.


And my time's almost up... post! Obviously there's a lot more to say, but one thing I learned about myself is tl;dr. Yes.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ

Comments

[justira]

OH MY GOD I feel... KIND OF RESPONSIBLE? for encouraging SEVERAL OF THESE THINGS. oh god, am I partially at fault? >.>

I actually owe you my very own version of this post, which um, I was supposed to do BEFORE you but haha instead I posted PICTURES OF MY DOG WITH A VOTING STICKER (yeah you are totally sorry about that and so am I). I PROMISE I WILL TRY TO DO IT SOON because there are a lot of things to discuss!


HOWEVER, my version (your question) doesn't cover KINKS and I did promise reciprocal sharing there!

TIME FOR TMI PARTY??

Yeah um I guess going in I should probably point out that I have been in fandom since I was like 10 or 12, I don't even remember, so it's pretty safe to say that fandom played a pretty large part in forming my sexuality? IS THAT WEIRD? I can't be alone here!

But here we go, kinks I DEFINITELY didn't know I had without fandom (and largely don't translate well into real life BUT SOME DO AND I INVITE YOU TO GUESS haha um >.>):

- GOSH I *REALLY* LIKE DUBCON. LIKE WOW.

- apparently I like some light-to-medium bloodplay? LIKE KNIVES. I LIKE KNIVES? so apparently S&M snuck in there somewhere >.>

- does WAFF count as a kink? fluff? because I kind of get off on it, if it's good >.> (FAP FAP FAP) (OVERSHARE CITY)

- slash? honestly, I discovered men fucking through fandom. due to a quirk of my upbringing, it didn't occur to me until high school that (according to society) men shouldn't/couldn't fuck, but I didn't realize it could be SO BLEEDING HOT until I read a bunch (in um, early middle school at best >.>) and then YEAH ACCIDENTALLY MY PANTS

- HELLO INCEST BUDDY. YOU ARE MY INCEST BUDDY. OH HEY. And for the record, since my full depravity is being revealed here anyway, this includes intergenerational incest and also TWINCEST IN PARTICULAR *STARES*

- MIXING META AND SEX IS REALLY HOT. This includes magic!kink.

- Psychologically-fuelled sex is FAP CITY. Sex that messes with the participants' minds, sex done TO mess with a participant's mind, sex between crazy people, psychological effects of sex — BASICALLY, BRAINS

- TENDER MOMENTS? BREATHLESS PAUSES? Actually, fuck yeah, breathless pauses are somehow REALLY SUPER HOT. Remember when I fapped all over every such moment in Dissolution? THAT'S RIGHT, I AM SO APPROPRIATE

- APPARENTLY BREATHPLAY? nearly killing your partner? idek, abuse? I can't even categorize a bunch of the things I have found superhot, but I do know none of it's been outright noncon. usually it dances the line between dubcon and ZIE TOTALLY WANTS IT (I LOVE THAT LINE)




Things that I kind of knew anyway/was discovering on my own but were reinforced/helped along by fandom:

- ANDROGYNY IS SO FUCKING HOT. Though, note, I like a very particular form of androgyny, where there just AREN'T any or many overt gender characteristics, as opposed to manly-looking women or very bishie boys or whatever. NO GENDER AT ALL, THANK YOU!

- GIRL-ON-GIRL. Sorry fandom, but I made out with girls plenty without your help. HOWEVER YOU FURTHER ASSISTANCE WAS DEFINITELY APPRECIATED

- polyships! Another pool I waded into on my own and then fandom was like, you know, we can TOTALLY reinforce this for you. INDEED.




WELCOME TO ME I GUESS. I PROBABLY FORGOT THINGS IN HERE SOMEWHERE but this is probably um, enough for now >.>

[seventhe]

OH GOD ANDROGYNY

HOW DID I FORGET THIS? STOP BEING ME SERIOUSLY: AMBIVALENT/UNCLEAR GENDER IS SO HOT



The thing I find MOST amusing is that seriously, putting words to this: I would NEVER have been like hay incest hit me harder if not for fandom, because real life incest is still on the I do not want to read about this scale, but with IMAGINARY PEOPLE? YEAH GIVE ME MORE

[vrazdova]

HEY.................................... NEW BFF, I LIKE YER LIST; IT LOOKS LIKE MINE.

(LIKE SERIOUSLY, I ONLY DON'T KNOW WHAT 'WAFF' MEANS BUT I AM 100% ON BOARD WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUBCON, BLOODPLAY, PSYCHOLOGICAL MINDFUCK, ANDROGYNY FTFW ETC ETC ETC)

[vrazdova]

LIKE, HRNGGGG I SHOULD START CARRYING OVER SOME OF THE SHIT I DID FOR METALOCALYPSE FANDOM INTO FINAL FANTASY. I DID A GOOD AMOUNT OF KINK ART FOR THAT FANDOM, MAN, BLOODPLAY IS SO MUCH FUN TO DRAW/PAINT >_>