[30Days]: On Fandom!

[seventhe]

justira asked:
Why are you in fandom! How did you get here! Did you learn anything about yourself from/through being in fandom? For example, did you discover any kinks? =D (And, if you feel comfortable sharing, what are they!)

And I've got a bit to say about this!

Why am I in fandom?
I like to write, and being in fandom helps keep me doing so; there's an audience in fandom I think it's easier to reach out to than with original work. I love the source material, and fandom's a way to express that: reading, browsing art, commenting, sharing; all of these are ways to extend and explore a source material I'm fond of. I like the community; I've met some amazing people through fandom (more on this in a bit) and I enjoy the shared/collaborative feel of it, even if it's just commenting on a friend's drabble with a smiley-face.

I think in a way it's about value. I've watched people change fandoms or drift in and out of fandom because it isn't returning what they value (whether that's attention, comments/reviews, crit/feedback, cult of worshipers etc - value's different for all), and obviously I encourage everyone to shift around until they find a place in a fandom that's rewarding for them. Fandom's supposed to be fun, not frustrating!

Anyway: for me, the value returned is in communications: friends emailing me rambling snippets of fic or ideas for the one where GFs steal Seifer's memory or even just handfuls of porn, people I don't know commenting on fic that's two years old and getting into conversations about this or that pairing, friendships that move on beyond fandom, ideas that grow into ff_exchange or the Kiss Battle or a series of prompts on fuckyeahfinalfantasy -- interactions that go beyond "hay I liked your fic" are what I mean.

It's the connections, the kind of stuff I wouldn't do on my own -- like... I could write and maybe get comments and stuff, but -- I know now that I can write something and people will read it, and if they don't I can send them a note and they'll read it when they have time; it's the feedback, the interaction, and that's what I like.

How did I come to fandom?
Sadface: I have been writing fanfiction since before I knew what it was. Remember Sev is older than most of you, and we didn't have a ton of internet access/time growing up, and so when I spent my time writing an absolutely massive (note: it spanned four 3 1/2 inch disks) FFIV / FFVI crossover, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS FANFIC; I was just like "la de da I am writing this stupid story and I will never tell anyone." It wasn't until college - which for me was after 2000 - that I really recognized fanfiction and figured out what the heck it was. That means I've been writing for over 10 years... wow, that's ridiculous.

Once I found fanfiction.net -- through FF and Harry Potter almost simultaneously -- I started writing more, and I started meeting people. I ended up heading to Livejournal through - well, a collection of people; novel_machinist/drakonlily and crankyoldman/venefica_aura, mostly. They! Were also the first fandom people I ever met, in 2005, when we went to Otakon for the first time. (2005 or 2006? Am I that old...?)

Once I found Livejournal I was pretty much lost.

Things I learned from fandom!

Well, to start it off I have to say that fandom has impacted my life. It isn't subtle. Many people I've met from here have become friends, and some of them not just friends but CLOSE, heart-to-heart, soulmate friends. (And some of them, MAKEOUT FRIENDS, which in my opinion are totally the best kind!) I'm talking real-life friends and real-life impact. I won't get sappy, but I'm going to say: I love you all.

And, GOSH, as for kinks?

Okay, so one of the fun things about fandom is the prevalence of porn. And it's... okay. The path upon which somebody goes from 'oh, there's porn, alright but not my thing' to 'maybe I'll check that out' to 'huh, alright, let's try this now' to 'I MUST READ EVERY PORN FIC OF THIS PAIRING' to 'FUCK PAIRINGS, GIVE ME SOME SERIOUS MAGICKINK' is fabulous! Or, uh, let me say: the SPEED at which THIS particular fan traversed that path was, probably, seriously hilarious.

And then you get to something and you are like, "wait, WHAT? WHAT IS DUBCON DOESN'T THAT MEAN -- UH -- IS THIS -- ohmygod -- fff -- ...THIS IS HOT *FAPS"

OR IS THAT JUST ME?

Okay, so. Fandom's can be a good deal of exploration of sexuality, and I'm just going to throw these things out there for discussion:

- I, uh. I actually kind of like dubcon. >.>
- but since I also like incest fic, uh. *expects mass defriending*
- Kinks I was somewhat aware of in real life (light bondage? uh? *shifty look* ) sometimes translate really well into fanfic and sometimes... don't.
- No porn is better than magic!kink, in my opinion, and I challenge you to change my mind.
- FUCK OR DIE IS TOTALLY OKAY.
- Vanilla missionary-position sex can actually be very hot.
- GIRL ON GIRL.


...and, okay, here are some TRUE CONFESSIONS: I, uh. I really enjoy? Threesomes, moresomes, multiple partner fic? And... uh, fanfic has helped me acknowledge that, full stop. Realize that. Think about that. Etc.


And my time's almost up... post! Obviously there's a lot more to say, but one thing I learned about myself is tl;dr. Yes.

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ

Comments

[renay]

What about porn that is magic!kink? I MEAN. THAT'S FEASIBLE.

[seventhe]

THAT IS KIND OF WHAT I MEANT: magic!kink >>> all other kinks in my book, and it is really a shame that magic doesn't exist

[renay]

OKAY FOR A MOMENT I WAS CONFUSED.

But now everything makes sense.

...and I want some, goddammit. XD

[seventhe]

YOU'RE GOING TO GET SOME OF IT IN CHAPTER... 11?

[seventhe]

and by shame I mean it is a shame in my pants.

[justira]

OH MY GOD I feel... KIND OF RESPONSIBLE? for encouraging SEVERAL OF THESE THINGS. oh god, am I partially at fault? >.>

I actually owe you my very own version of this post, which um, I was supposed to do BEFORE you but haha instead I posted PICTURES OF MY DOG WITH A VOTING STICKER (yeah you are totally sorry about that and so am I). I PROMISE I WILL TRY TO DO IT SOON because there are a lot of things to discuss!


HOWEVER, my version (your question) doesn't cover KINKS and I did promise reciprocal sharing there!

TIME FOR TMI PARTY??

Yeah um I guess going in I should probably point out that I have been in fandom since I was like 10 or 12, I don't even remember, so it's pretty safe to say that fandom played a pretty large part in forming my sexuality? IS THAT WEIRD? I can't be alone here!

But here we go, kinks I DEFINITELY didn't know I had without fandom (and largely don't translate well into real life BUT SOME DO AND I INVITE YOU TO GUESS haha um >.>):

- GOSH I *REALLY* LIKE DUBCON. LIKE WOW.

- apparently I like some light-to-medium bloodplay? LIKE KNIVES. I LIKE KNIVES? so apparently S&M snuck in there somewhere >.>

- does WAFF count as a kink? fluff? because I kind of get off on it, if it's good >.> (FAP FAP FAP) (OVERSHARE CITY)

- slash? honestly, I discovered men fucking through fandom. due to a quirk of my upbringing, it didn't occur to me until high school that (according to society) men shouldn't/couldn't fuck, but I didn't realize it could be SO BLEEDING HOT until I read a bunch (in um, early middle school at best >.>) and then YEAH ACCIDENTALLY MY PANTS

- HELLO INCEST BUDDY. YOU ARE MY INCEST BUDDY. OH HEY. And for the record, since my full depravity is being revealed here anyway, this includes intergenerational incest and also TWINCEST IN PARTICULAR *STARES*

- MIXING META AND SEX IS REALLY HOT. This includes magic!kink.

- Psychologically-fuelled sex is FAP CITY. Sex that messes with the participants' minds, sex done TO mess with a participant's mind, sex between crazy people, psychological effects of sex — BASICALLY, BRAINS

- TENDER MOMENTS? BREATHLESS PAUSES? Actually, fuck yeah, breathless pauses are somehow REALLY SUPER HOT. Remember when I fapped all over every such moment in Dissolution? THAT'S RIGHT, I AM SO APPROPRIATE

- APPARENTLY BREATHPLAY? nearly killing your partner? idek, abuse? I can't even categorize a bunch of the things I have found superhot, but I do know none of it's been outright noncon. usually it dances the line between dubcon and ZIE TOTALLY WANTS IT (I LOVE THAT LINE)




Things that I kind of knew anyway/was discovering on my own but were reinforced/helped along by fandom:

- ANDROGYNY IS SO FUCKING HOT. Though, note, I like a very particular form of androgyny, where there just AREN'T any or many overt gender characteristics, as opposed to manly-looking women or very bishie boys or whatever. NO GENDER AT ALL, THANK YOU!

- GIRL-ON-GIRL. Sorry fandom, but I made out with girls plenty without your help. HOWEVER YOU FURTHER ASSISTANCE WAS DEFINITELY APPRECIATED

- polyships! Another pool I waded into on my own and then fandom was like, you know, we can TOTALLY reinforce this for you. INDEED.




WELCOME TO ME I GUESS. I PROBABLY FORGOT THINGS IN HERE SOMEWHERE but this is probably um, enough for now >.>

[seventhe]

OH GOD ANDROGYNY

HOW DID I FORGET THIS? STOP BEING ME SERIOUSLY: AMBIVALENT/UNCLEAR GENDER IS SO HOT



The thing I find MOST amusing is that seriously, putting words to this: I would NEVER have been like hay incest hit me harder if not for fandom, because real life incest is still on the I do not want to read about this scale, but with IMAGINARY PEOPLE? YEAH GIVE ME MORE

[vrazdova]

HEY.................................... NEW BFF, I LIKE YER LIST; IT LOOKS LIKE MINE.

(LIKE SERIOUSLY, I ONLY DON'T KNOW WHAT 'WAFF' MEANS BUT I AM 100% ON BOARD WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUBCON, BLOODPLAY, PSYCHOLOGICAL MINDFUCK, ANDROGYNY FTFW ETC ETC ETC)

[vrazdova]

LIKE, HRNGGGG I SHOULD START CARRYING OVER SOME OF THE SHIT I DID FOR METALOCALYPSE FANDOM INTO FINAL FANTASY. I DID A GOOD AMOUNT OF KINK ART FOR THAT FANDOM, MAN, BLOODPLAY IS SO MUCH FUN TO DRAW/PAINT >_>

[siva630]

WHAT A SICK PERVERT YOU ARE. EW DUBCON EW INCEST EW YURI I JUDGE YOU HARD!!!!

Why is a bit of non-incestuous het kissing never enough for you people!? I bet you say "cock" instead of using polite euphemisms as well, HUSSY!

*de-friends*

THERE IS ONLY ONE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO THIS COMMENT

[seventhe]

COCK

[vrazdova]

FDJSAKLFHDSAHFCEAWINHVUIWLAFHJDHAF I HAVE LIKE NOTHING TO SAY BUT SDJKLFHASDJKFHLDSAFLSDA LIST OF KINKS

I LOVE YOU FANDOM

[vrazdova]

ALSO: HATESEX

[jerkface]

+100000000 POINTS FOR HATESEX.

HELLO KINK TWIN.

[vrazdova]

BTW I LOVE YOUR ICON SO HARD XDD

[jerkface]

THANKS IT'S LOVELY ISN'T IT

Seriously, half the reason I loved FFXII so much was because of all the ASS. SO MUCH ASS. EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK.

*FAP*

[vrazdova]

CHANGING THE SUBJECT ONCE AGAIN: LOL EVERY TIME I SEE YOUR USERNAME I GET SLIGHTLY CONFUSED BECAUSE I GO BY 'FASHION JERK' ELSEWHERE ON THE 'NET

TOO MANY JERKS UP IN THIS HOUSE

*JERKS IT*

[jerkface]

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THAT'S MY NICKNAME IRL, BESIDES "HALFSEY," BUT THAT ONLY MAKES SENSE WHEN THE OTHER HALF OF THE WHOLESEY IS AROUND. AND "BEAN." AND "COCK-HOLSTER." (GUESS WHICH ONE'S MY FAVORITE?)

YAY FOR US JERKS!

[crankyoldman]

It was 2006, because I had just turned 21 and left my d-bag.

So you don't feel bad, as I am probably one of the more outwardly conservative sexually speaking (well, for a lesbian):

- I agree on dubcon being hot. It's noncon that bothers me. And "good" noncon is really just dubcon labeled wrong.

- I don't mind siblingcest?

- I LOVE REALLY BAD ATTEMPTS AT BONDAGE. THEY MAKE MY LIFE HILARIOUS.

- Breathplay, bloodplay, gunplay... I am into all the plays that could potentially end in death if done wrong. And sometimes I like it to go wrong.

- Into Xeno, which is kind of like being an IMAGINARY furry (monsters, mostly). I'll let you digest that.

- I really love it when class issues happen in porn. It's complicated.

- FANDOM IS WHAT MADE ME REALIZE MY THING FOR GIRLS WASN'T IMAGINARY. So I like girl on girl. UNLESS IT IS WRITTEN BY A 12 YEAR OLD (physically or mentally) BOY. THEN I DIE INSIDE AND REALLY WANT TO PULL HIM ASIDE AND TELL HIM WHAT REAL GIRLS ARE LIKE.

- I like threesomes in fic more than in real life. Mostly cause I can't do the math in real life.

novel_machinist has been getting me into writing porn again through some online boys love online magazine thing (WHICH IS NOT FANFIC), and I think I'm off my not writing porn break. XD

GOD MY KINKS ARE SO GAWTH.

[vrazdova]

I am into all the plays that could potentially end in death if done wrong. And sometimes I like it to go wrong.

HIGH FUCKIN FIVE

Man like everything about this post + these comments is making me feel inspired again. THANK YOU, PORN. YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

[crankyoldman]

XD

Yeah, I'm just all, "don't feel like a weirdo, WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING".

[justira]

OH LOOK WE MEET AGAIN

... that shit is seriously hot >.>

[vrazdova]

GROUP FANDOM ORGY

LET'S HAVE AT IT

[justira]

I am into all the plays that could potentially end in death if done wrong. And sometimes I like it to go wrong.

... you have just summed up like a third of my kinks and I think I love you



I really love it when class issues happen in porn. It's complicated.

... holy crap I had not actually thought of this (or seen it done, I think?) but gosh I WANT it now

[crankyoldman]

It was either that or "if it was in a Lady GaGa song and/or video, I'm probably fapping to it"

Totally unrelated, but your love of dubcon and incest has given me a movie rec for you. It's called Twist (done in 2003 for help searching) and it's a darker queerer Oliver Twist, with dubcon and incest made my Canadians. Not the happiest movie ever, but I think you'd like it.

[jerkface]

So relieved to learn that I'm not the only one in the room who faps to GaGa videos...

I mean, who needs porn at this point? REALLY?

[seventhe]

uh, can we make a FAP TO GAGA club? or at least an icon?

[seventhe]

YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH XENOKINK

[jerkface]

Just so you know, Sev, the fault for my twincest kink rests solely with you. THANKS A LOT, NOW THE JOKES PEOPLE MAKE ABOUT ME AND MY SISTER HAVE TAKEN ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF CREEPY/HILARIOUS/I DON'T EVEN.

But seriously. All your fault.

Thanks, by the way.

[jerkface]

EDIT: I should clarify FANDOM twincest. IRL, not so much, due in no small part to the aforementioned jokes about my sister.

[seventhe]

YOU DO REALIZE PEOPLE HAVE WRITTEN FIC ABOUT ME/MY BROTHER, NO?

[vrazdova]

*FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP*

[jerkface]

OH. OH MY. THAT'S...UM. YOU WIN.

I mean, I'd write fic about ME/your brother, but uhhhhhhh.

[crankyoldman]

IN OUR DEFENSE WE WERE DRUNK AND vrazdova STARTED IT.

People ship me and my sister too, sometimes.

[jerkface]

I FOR ONE AM RELIEVED TO LEARN THAT OTHER PEOPLE GET SHIPPED WITH THEIR SISTERS.

IT REALLY ONLY GETS WEIRD WHEN PEOPLE START THINKING IT'S TRUE. High school was awkward for us.

[jerkface]

ALSO, CAN I JUST SAY THAT THE AMOUNT OF CAPSLOCK IN THIS ENTRY AND THE ENSUING COMMENT FLOOD IS TRULY ORGASMIC.

[wallwalker]

Sadface: I have been writing fanfiction since before I knew what it was.

OMG ME TOO! And at about the same time, although I don't think that it was ever as long as your epicness. But I still have that long, old FFVI Mary Sue post-game crackfic saved on my computer, or what I wrote of it. It's crazy!

I am debating posting the list of kinks, or using the time to nap, since I'm apparently not going to be able to get out of staying up late tonight. D: Right now, I'm leaning towards nap now, kink later. I'm getting old!