words and more words about not having words

[seventhe]

march has ended up being an incredibly rough month, to the point where i have fired it, dumped it, and tossed it into the ravine. i've been vaguely ill all month due to the weather (extended ohio winter = pain, PLUS the first time in years i've actually had to deal with winter-related SAD depression), stress-triggered flareups (wedding stuff, mostly, although work continues to eat up energy and the house is no better), and a general malaise and lack of fucks to give about anything ever. i'm tired, i feel light-headed, and i have a load of laundry that has been in a basket for 2 weeks sitting there and waiting for me.

i've also passed the 1-year anniversary of losing my Marzy, and that hit unexpectedly hard.

instead of going on in this vein forever (that's a future post), i want to talk about writing some more, because i made a big decision earlier this month to focus more on things outside-my-work-career - including, and focusing on, writing - and i can't seem to get motivated over anything yet. this is where the post will take a turn from the serious introspective depression shit to some wacky fanfic:

my original stories and my professional blog remain, and i have plans and ideas and drafts for them, but i feel like i have really drifted away from fanfiction in a big way. and original writing is where i want to go, however -- fanfic is/was where i could just have fun and dump words and experiment, and it has been a long time since i've had motivation to really dive into a juicy fanfic that's just kind of fun and zero-fucks (or as few fucks as possible) and reminds me how to do plot and things rather than just snippets and character interactions and etc etc.

i've obviously lived in FF fandom like forever, and i still have ideas and things to explore there, but i'm also considering branching out into other old and fucking dead fandoms because i'm always behind the times and dumb -- and because writing in a new space i've never written in before could be fun inspiration.

i'm looking for some chatter and inspiration so who would like to talk about the following fandoms: Final Fantasy series, as always; Harry Potter (Marauders era); Criminal Minds; Black Jewels trilogy; the Hobbit movie trilogy; the Kushiel series; and i'm sure there's something else there...:

AN ONSLAUGHT OF SHAME:

HP Marauders: I have the beginning of a fic up on AO3 - Count the Saints - that's one of my favorite tropes (change 1 thing in canon and take a different path¹); in this, Pettigrew saves the Potters last-minute, tosses out the word Horcrux, and gives his life to destroy Voldemort's Dark Mark: from here we have James and Lily and Harry alive and safe, Remus and Sirius reunited and loyal, the Longbottoms saved, and a damaged but still-alive and very-angry Voldemort to defeat.

The plot here is, of course, how the four of them manage to defeat the Dark Lord with the strength of (all of their) love, loyalty, friendship, etc; I want to flesh out Lily some more, eventually giving her a lead role in the 'revolution'; it also winds itself into a Remus/Sirius relationship, because i don't care that it's 2018 i'm still here for that hard. What I need to do is develop a framework for how the prophecy about Harry changes (is it still about harry?), how they work their way through the Horcruxes together while still fighting, and how to focus the story on the four of them (James, Lily, Sirius, Remus) while still developing the other characters of the era and setting.

This was supposed to be a friendly, carefree zero-fucks word dump fic, but as always I end up taking my own bullshit seriously²; what I really wanted was to write more of Lily and some Remus/Sirius, and what I have is a lot of space to work with; has anyone dabbled here, is anyone still interested, crickets?

The Fucking Hobbit Movie Trilogy During a recent depressive funk I caught the first Hobbit movie on cable. I then rented the second and third on Amazon. I then made the mistake of exploring AO3 for fanfic and promptly lost myself for about 72 hours straight. I started out more interested in Tauriel, especially Tauriel and Kili, but wow did I also fall down the Thorin/Bilbo Bagginshield hole because I am also trash in a happy trash compactor.

So what I want to write here, again following my favorite trope¹, is this: the one small change here is that in the town of men, after Smaug, when Kili invites Tauriel to come with them - the messenger from Thranduil shows up at that moment to announce Tauriel has been banished, and in a moment of defiance, Tauriel gets into the boat with Kili and the dwarves on their way to Erebor rather than leaving with Legolas to go hunting orc.

The entire premise is that the presence of an elf changes everything. Tauriel's presence changes Kili, which in turn stretches Fili, which gives them a new and unique angle with which to handle Thorin and his gold sickness. Tauriel of course doesn't actually enter Erebor for a while, since Thorin would blow a fuckin artery, but she is there - scouting, wandering, watching the outpost. Tauriel and Bilbo build a friendship and bond of trust, which changes the way the Arkenstone is handled. Legolas returning to Thranduil to take counsel changes the way the elven army shows up, which changes the entire context of the period building to the Five Armies. In the end, that small change ends up building a storyline in which Thorin shakes the sickness, Bilbo doesn't have to swap the Arkenstone for leverage, and of course nobody fuckin dies. There may also be porn?

What I really need is someone to help me work out all the details, all the background stuff; I know the path I want but I need to build it with the individual pieces. I'm sure I need to watch the movies a thousand times to get the details, and then I need to figure out how my one small change would tweak them in the direction I want. Again, I end up fucking myself² in the approach. I know I'm like 5 years too late to this fandom, but fuck.

The Criminal Minds / Black Jewels Crossover Of Garbage I entirely blame this one on the Coven; in a previous March funk I speed-re-read the Black Jewels trilogy for comfort food, and of course Criminal Minds is my nightly comfort show (there is something wrong with me), and Coven chat started it and I accidentally wrote about 800 words of an intro the other day and why the hell not.

Premise: taking the construct of the Black Jewels world and powers and putting it into modern times; the Blood exists alongside the landen and their technology; some covens have adjusted to the new ways, and some keep the old. The BAU is, of course, a coven, led by Emily, an Ebon-Grey Jeweled Queen. The BAU team ends up being a collection of new-Blood "anomalies" - Blood that doesn't follow the "old" rules, that has changed with the times - for example, Garcia is a Black Widow who builds her tangled webs on the internet as well as in the standard frames; Hotch was a Red-Jeweled Warlord who was given a second Red Jewel when he made the Offering to the Darkness, but he ended up changing caste and becoming a Warlord Prince when Haley died; Spencer had the Green as his Birthright and descended to the Grey, but refuses to use it. A bunch of little twists, to represent how the structure has changed to mix into modern times. The BAU basically acts as a team to deal with serial killers and hostage situations that involve the Blood, or a crossover between the Blood and landen.

The fic itself is really just an episode, with a killer who is targeting specific witches and wizards with a specific ability. My thought is that it could be a short season's worth of episodes, with the underlying plot of a criminal mastermind whose goal is to summon Witch (who hasn't been seen since Jaenelle), who kills indiscriminately in an attempt to find the dreamers and the web that could bring Witch back -- basically a culture clash, the old ways vs the new ways, the landen technology vs the magical powers of the Blood, etc.

This is, very obviously, just to be trash!, and also lets me explore my own belief that everyone on the BAU team just sleeps together as one giant supportive ship. Mainly: also porn. God help me. Someone tell me not to write this shit. It's ridiculous.

Kushiel/Final Fantasy Crossovers lassarina and I have talked about this, extensively, to the point where we have a trello board dedicated to aligning FF characters with the Houses. It would be a fun little way to write interactions and smut, outside the usual FF universe. If anyone knows both these fandoms let's talk placements, okay, cause I think Rosa as Dowayne (of???) helping Rydia choose a House to serve is on my mind, along with wayward Balthier Shahrizai and Ashelia de la Courcel, and yeah

Final Fantasy Stuff there's so much here I've thought of over the years that's stuck in my fingertips, I don't really even know how to list it:

• a continuation of my FFIV 'verse, Momentum and Content with this Winter, Rosa-centric, called All the Ghosts and focusing on how Rosa finds her balance between Cecil, Kain, Queenship, and her White Magic - I've written the beginning of this but I think it is lost between computer swaps, sadly
• a continuation of (one of my) FFVI verse(s): a sequel to the Terra/Shadow Halves and Holes, a sequel to the TWINCEST, a fic about Celes and the Imperial peace Corps, etcccccccc
• some kind of Turk fic, there are many in my head
• EVERYTHING FFVIII: there is porn, and there is Same As It Never Was aka HONK, and there is my extensively constructed and ridiculous Avalon fic that ends up being a combined prequel/sequel and dives headfirst into Sorceress nonsense with no regrets
• there was once some kind of FFX twist-fic that linked Yuna and Tidus with Asura and Leviathan (IT FITS? SEE?), with Asura being the light side/sister to Anima, and how that changed the game, but fucked if I remember what actually happened? SOMEONE HELP?
• epic things about Fran
• Penelo/Larsa courtship, which has been done one million times but I have feels for my precocious boy-kings and their romantic interests, god help me
• there was, again an entire post-FFXIII fic with Snow/Serah/Lightning stuff, but I have lost it
• this list is just becoming a jumble

The real question becomes, where to start with it all; I need something (or a couple things) to dive into, to be excited about again, to maybe not care about so much that it gets all clogged up in trying to be specific and accurate and too much? To just have fun writing like I used to?

on one hand, i want to start small - a list of prompts, a prompt a week, like Rina and I intended for 2017: pieces that can be bits if i need, like warm-up exercises. on the other hand, i want to dive back into bigger things, longer things, chapters i can post (pseudo)live and have fun with.

where to start?

please blab at me

the end

Comments

[thenicochan]

I can super feel you on this idea. I’ve been throwing myself at this original work for too many years at this point, but taking a breather last year to write ‘fic put me in a better place, creatively but also as a person who didn’t want to burn everything down.

Anything that makes Tauriel interesting piques my interest. “If this is love, take it from me,” indeed. I like the idea that Tauriel’s presence would change things so vastly, but I unfortunately don’t have a very good grasp on Hobbit timeline shenanigans, so I can’t offer much help.


… the only other fandom here I’m familiar with is FF I’m sorry…


Rosa-centric anything always works for me, but what you’re describing sounds amazing. I would love this. And it reminds me I need to read the other fics in this verse. So that is something I will definitely do this weekend.


All things VI related are good and pure and wonderful.


Avalon fic sounds amazing. I am all about Sorceress headcanon/meta in any way/shape/form. What are we talking ‘bout in terms of prequel? Are we going, like… back back? Like all the way to Hyne? Who’s the protagonist? Is it an original Sorceress? Adel? Edea? I HAVE TO KNOW THESE THINGS.


Fran deserves more epic things. Maybe something set between her leaving the wood and joining up with Baethier Balthier (or even their meeting aahhhh). Or what about an AU where Fran leaves the wood but never meets up with Balthier, but ends up befriending the despondent young Noah after the loss of Landis? Hmmmm.


Penelo/Larsa courtship is necessary.


I find, when I’m not sure where to begin and a plot bunny hasn’t chosen to get my attention by harvesting my organs, a prompt list can be really beneficial. Knowing what others would be interested in reading and are passionate about tends to get me more hyped up. I’d be happy to provide anything of the sort, or talk more in depth in terms of ideas/meta/writing/coping with words at any time! (On here or via email or whatever, I’m game)

[seventhe]

Tauriel: it’s really just (a) i find her really interesting and want to play with her, and (b) it isn’t even Tauriel’s presence because she’s Tauriel, I just think that the presence of one more person that isn’t - a stubborn dwarf - could tip a balance somewhere in all of that tension - but also (c) you have this character here that already isn’t canon making so much of a change, why not ...follow that path farther and make even more of a change from canon? I mean I know why the movies didn’t, they had to go to the end that was in the books, but I want to play with it.

Rosa: the fic I had was really cool; I wish I could find it!

Avalon: okay, so Avalon is one part the prequel to FFVIII and how this particular Sorceress came into being and (sort of) explains the time warping and the magic existing in the specific place where the game takes place - Ellone is a big key here! Because Ellone was like the reason a lot of FFVIII happened! But she never really got any kind of exploration or even agency! - and there’s a lot about magical lineage and gifts and lots of meta. The sequel then becomes the way they discover all of this stuff, but unfortunately - although I could write the prequel as its own novel - I haven’t figured out too much of the sequel / continuation fanfic except “something happens to Ellone and Adventures Are Had”...

[samuraiter]

*ponders*

Goodness, what can I say about FF fanfic that has not already been said? ... But there is always room for Dwarves and their naughty bits. *nods* I still remember the collective intake of breath that fandom had when the first Hobbit movie happened and Thorin Oakenshield became a mighty sex symbol. Good times.

[seventhe]

I missed the whole thing! I don’t see movies in theaters anymore (much too overstimulating for my poor Fibro brain in my old age) and I didn’t see any of the Hobbits until last November on our flight to Japan, where they were on the pay-per-view and I watched them accidentally out of order (ooops my spoilers). But wow: Is there a lot of porn!

[shanaqui]

Rosa -- my immediate house pick is Balm.

[seventhe]

So that’s totally what I had in my head! But then the house of devotion (Alyssum? I forget) made a small argument...

[shanaqui]

Alyssum is modesty ("with eyes averted") -- devotion, uh, Heliotrope?

[ser_pounce_alot]

i have nothing really to offer because i'm not in the know with any of the above things, but i constantly go back and think about writing more chrono trigger lol. talk about a long-dead fandom there!

[lassarina]

I WANT EVERYTHING BLACK JEWELS AND FF RELATED PLEASE ALL OF IT

well, maybe I will gently skip twincest, but

SO FOR FF8 I HAD THIS THING I WAS GONNA DO WHERE IT WAS A HUGE CROSSOVER WITH FF4 AND GOLBEZ AND SEIFER, DO YOU MAYBE WANT TO NOODLE ON THAT FOR ME, BECAUSE I THINK WE COULD ENJOY THE FUCK OUT OF THAT

[seventhe]

OF COURSE I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT SO LETS

[lassarina]

omg, I meant to say noodle on that WITH me, I am not demanding you write me things

(well, except Warlord Prince Derek Morgan)

(gets on the bus)

[seventhe]

HONK HONK