A Serious Question

[seventhe]

Comment and tell me everything you "know" about vampires.

Comments

[crankyoldman]

Sorry, was posting from phone and duplicated.

[crankyoldman]

Alright, so I have sections. Because I like *different* kids of vampires.

Ancient Fuck You Vamps

- They can go out in sunlight
- Water is like acid
- They are NOT pretty. They may resemble gargoyles
- They don't play with their food
- They can turn into bats, do telekinesis, and turn into mist
- They will fuck you up

Badass But Not Ancient Vamps

- sunlight is an annoyance
- You have to be good with a stake to kill them
- They may be pretty, but in a slightly off-putting way. Likely to resemble a corpse.
- They hate crosses, garlic, and holy water
- They are probably snappy dressers
- They can sometimes be owned by humans

Sparklepires (and Other Young Romance Vamps)

- They show lots of inhuman strength but don't use it at convenient times
- Bloodsucking is probably orgasmic in some way
- They are very very pretty
- Probably monologue
- Range from Bad Boyfriend to Dark, Edgy, and Kinky
- Definitely nocturnal, or having a Special relationship with sunlight

Urban Vamps

- Level headed or being driven mad depending
- Look like that pale dude/chick down the street
- Have a mix of weaknesses, depending on where they are
- Most likely to find synthetic blpod or feed from animals
- Make excellent crime fighters

[owlmoose]

Vampires are creatures of the night who survive by drinking human blood. Animal blood will sometimes suffice. They can be killed by fire, beheading, a wooden stake to the heart, or exposue to sunlight. Otherwise, they are immortal. They are also sensitive to crosses, holy water, and garlic. They can't come inside your home unless you invite them. In some traditions, they are unable to cross running water. Because of their sensitivity to sunlight, they sleep during the day and are active at night. Possibly as a lure to their victims, most vampires are attractive and/or charismatic. New vampires are created when a victim drinks the blood of a vampire after being brought near death (but this varies).

I think that's all, or at least the highlights. The vampires I'm most familiar with are Jossverse, but I tried to keep this more general.

Well YOU may be joking.... picture heavy

[novel_machinist]

OKAY SO VAMPIRES!!!




SO VAMPIRES COME IN A LOT OF FORMS!!

Like this:


And this:


But this one is best:


Some of them have special transforming powers!!


And they have other fucking nifty shit powers. BUT it's not all fun and games, yo. Vampires have a lot of major issues in their not!lives.

<img="http://www.girlgamer.com/site_media/thumbs/articles/2011/02/17/twilight-demotivational-poster-01_jpg_650x10000_q85.jpg">

And



Or



Don't forget

<img="http://www.glogster.com/media/1/2/12/72/2127252.gif">

In short

srsly tho

[novel_machinist]

I actually have studied a LOT about vampire cultures and what I know could take up a multipage essay. If you'd like to hit me up, let me know.

[zen_monk]

The vampires of lore are often than not grimy looking peasants who have risen from the grave to bring death unto others. That's why it's common to exhume bodies and chop off the heads of the suspected ghoul to prevent such a thing from occurring. Due to the corpse's decomposition, gas bloats up in body to form a ruddy complexion to their face and when having their stomachs pressed, have blood oozing out of its mouth AS THOUGH HAVING SUCKED FROM THE NECK OF THE INNOCENT.

Folklore vampires were most likely to be people who were difficult, ne'er-do-well losers, and are often the scapegoats for unexplained deaths, such as from diseases, and other unfortunate events. Even better than providing an explanation, vampires can be "killed" to alleviate the mood of the community. Also, they can walk in daylight.

Of course, the vampire I feel to be the most awesome is Dracula, the non-movie version.

[whitemage]

OMG, VAMPIRES!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

European peasant vampires can include ANY SPECIES including PUMPKINS (vampire pumpkins: LOL)! Most often, they are the corpse of a loved one who died without rites/from the attack of something evil/was buried improperly/was just evil, who comes back to life because he/she was possessed by an evil spirit or demon. The possessing entity forces the corpse to drink the blood of the living to maintain lifeforce in the dead body (the life is in the blood: OLD SCHOOL BIBLE, YEAH, BB!!).

A vampire will continue to age, but is able to hide this process if they drink enough blood (BLOOD IS ALSO THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, YAY!!!), keeping them to the age they died, preferably something young so they can be hot and get invited into strangers homes as travelers to DRINK THE BLOOD OF ALL THE THINGS and maybe steal a virgin daughter or two (but this is more Hollywood versions of these vampires, or Stoker with his brides of Dracula). Also, the vampire's hair and nails will continue to grow, but they generally do not gain weight, and the "aging' is less their years and more decomposition and THE SINS ON THEIR SOUL.

Later polished literary vamps and some folk tale vamps are excellent at casting glamours, either making themselves younger, more attractive, INVISIBLE! Not truly invisible, mind you, but they can "will" others not to notice them. Yes, they are associated with bats. Post Stoker, they are associated with wolves as well, BUT, in a few stories, long ago and originally, wolves were quasi enemies of theirs because they were all "You're disturbing the balance of nature, yo" and vampires were all, "Eff you, hairy beast." HOWEVER, other traditions have vampires who turn into wolves, and foxes, and trees, and MOTHER FUCKING MIST, MOTHERFUCKER!!! (Castlevania, you is a thief, ya)

BTW, only vampires who were Christian in life are affected by crosses, holy water, and all that shiz. (Well, from the Christian era). IT IS THE GUILT OF THEIR REBELLION WEIGHING ON THEM that causes the effect. All the others are like, "Crosses? LOL! NAO I EET U!!! *chomp*"

The Metis have stories of vampires imported from Europe, but there are Native American legends about blood sucking. More commonly, people, either post death, or by "wasting" from a spiritual wound in life, will become cannibalistic. This includes the consumption of both blood and vital organs (blood is more practical if you still look semi-human and live in a village: you can keep your livestock alive, also, sorry, wendigos are more common, because it's more fun to scare kids with the corpse like version of the abominable snowman). Witches can turn you into a vampire, but unless you have suffered a complete death (this is a friggin' essay to explain), a medicine worker can turn you back!

Later, connected vampirism (anything with the idea of a queen/king vampire) is a spiritual virus kind of like Jenova. It cannot be passed on simply with a bite, but from drinking the vampire blood. The viral entity keeps a watch over the world population of its kind, and when a vampire is "endangered" in the area they live, they may possibly be overtaken by a strong desire to make more of their kind, to ensure the entity pulling the strings doesn't die. Killing the leader works to cure/destroy the others because supposedly, the leader is the "source" or home of the entity. (Offhandedly, this is why we should just burn Jenova's head. For serious.)

This is relatively modern, though, and earlier accounts denote thousands of DIFFERENT AND INDEPENDENT nasties that can turn you vamp.

There are accounts of medical vampirism, and there are a collection of symptoms and conditions that end up commonly known as "vampirism." Pica AND severe iron deficiency may give a strong craving for blood. A few retrograde genetic mutations may cause the eye teeth of an individual to grow abnormally long like fangs. Some forms of anemia, besides causing pale complexion and sunken, dark eyes, will give the patient digestive trouble, leading to an aversion to solid food. Porphyria, however, is true "clinical vampirism." It is a family of severe blood disorders that cause a host of symptoms similar to signs of vampires from folklore, from photosensitivity to changes in appearance to you name it. (I could seriously write novels over hematology, so if this is anywhere near the direction you want to go, LET ME KNOW.)

Another culprit for stirring vampire lore in the past are nervous disorders like catalepsy that induce complete loss of voluntary movement and render the patient in a state of suspended animation. Modern medicine can still detect faint vital signs, but in the past, people assumed sufferers had died and buried them--SUPRISE! They "rose" from the grave and some managed to dig out, scaring the crap out of their villages, wth.

[siva630.livejournal.com]

- drink blood
- no reflection
- afraid of / allergic to sunlight, garlic, crucifixes
- cast awesomely creepy shadows on walls
- originate in eastern europe
- mysterious aristocratic ancestry
- live forever
- killed by hammering a stake through the heart
- sleep in coffins
- powers of transformation
- pale skin, fangs
- often linked with dubious female-virginity metaphor

[salarta.livejournal.com]

They don't like sunlight because the sparkle brighter than the sun.

Okay, okay, I'll be serious.

There's a pretty nice mix of history that didn't exactly come together into what we know today until around the turn of the 20th century. There was always a fear of people coming back from the dead. Other than that just the usual crap. Vlad the Impaler, blood-drinking, garlic repels them (sometimes), crosses, no reflection in mirror, sometimes they can turn into bats, etc etc etc.

Oh also the original conception of vampires had them as ugly monsters, but somehow over time it transformed from ugly monsters to monsters that look human to sexy men and women potentially with no inhibitions to sparkly goth/emo dudes. Basically further back in chronological time you get for their depiction, the more monstrous and extravagant they are, whereas the closer to modern times you get, the more they've become depicted almost normal. At this point "vampires" are regular people that suck blood (and I suspect all sense of division between vampire and succubus/incubus will soon fade and that'll change into sucking cock!).

[wildejoy.livejournal.com]

THEY SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT AND ALSO THEY MAKE ME FAINT IF THEY GET TOO NEAR. NOT OUT OF FEAR, BUT IT'S JUST THAT THEY ARE SO SO SEXY.

/is shot


Sorry, I had to!

I don't think I can add much - siva630 kind of said most of it - but I would add, can transform humans into vampires through a blood ritual (usually by drinking their blood and having the human drink their blood in return), and can also be killed by decapitation.

[divka.livejournal.com]

The only thing I can think to add is that they need to be invited in to cross the threshold of a building.

[sissyhiyah.livejournal.com]

I can't remember if this is just a Bram Stoker thing, but don't they have to be close to their home soil? Carry dirt with them to travel across oceans?

[red-mage-jerry.livejournal.com]

Short.
Wear bonnets/mobcaps.
Tend to lie a lot.
Silly and childish.
Self-centered.
Need a parasol to go out in the sunlight.
Have very strange wings.
Steal legendary weapons.

1 (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Remilia_Scarlet)
2 (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Flandre_Scarlet)
3 (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Vampire)

[red-mage-jerry.livejournal.com]

There's also the whole turn-into-a-bat thing that they have, too. Or many, many bats.

[salarta.livejournal.com]

Egads, Mary Poppins is a vampire!

[red-mage-jerry.livejournal.com]

O_O

I think my head just exploded processing that image!

[safety-caesars.livejournal.com]

[jennyclarinet.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA!!!

[darcenciel.livejournal.com]

WIN

[darcenciel.livejournal.com]

All I have is this link, which you've probably read before, that shows that vampires are not possible. XD
http://www.world-science.net/othernews/061024_vampire.htm

[ifotismeni]

what the fuck... he's making out with HIMSELF?

[irish-ais.livejournal.com]

Protip: the word "glittering" should never appear in the same sentence as "vampire."

[selryel.livejournal.com]

So I've always been the mythology nerd that can distinguish between a cockatrice and a basilisk, and I minored in anthropology, so any answer I immediately give is going to shade towards the Teal Deer.

The blood/life-eating monster myths date back to, like Mesopotamia and cut across cultures, so the topic is... huge. Like "tell me everything you know about deities".

Is there any possible narrowing of the field, or should I just start spewing vampire words starting with Sumeria and going from there?

[first-seventhe.livejournal.com]

Well, we really are interested in that broad of a sense. But I don't necessarily need the lecture notes - more of a reference sheet. Perhaps a different way to phrase it might be "What would you "expect" to see from vampires in the literature, if you were reading a book and vamps showed up?"

Which is also its own broad question, but we're interested in both the foundations AND the modern cliches/perceptions. >.> (Which is why I've asked the general public-at-my-journal rather than just started hitting up the web.)

[salarta.livejournal.com]

"We" eh? Who are you writing with! :)

[selryel.livejournal.com]

I think for me part of what I would expect is based on the cultural tradition of the vampire in question. If it's your run-of-the-mill post-Dracula pop-culture vampire, turning into a bat is fine (no vampire bats in Europe, and "vampire bat" took the name from the myth, near as anyone can tell), but if it's a nukekubi, I'll want the head to detach and fly around.

I like the less well-known aspects of the myth, they make me feel like someone's at least paying attention to something that predates Ann Rice. Like in X-Files, the episode "Bad Blood" (one of my favorites) when Mulder threw seeds on the ground, making the vampire count them all, I got a wonderful frisson of nerd-glee (that one is interestingly cross cultural -- both European and Chinese myths mention the need to count). Casting no shadow and/or reflection is always good. Cannot cross running water.

Vulnerability to sunlight is actually one of the more modern additions to the myth. Count Orlok (the vampire from the 1922 film Nosferatu) dies when exposed to sunlight. But even Dracula was a-okay with the sun -- the are multiple instances in the book of him being out and about during the day. So when someone turns to dust in the sun, I immediately think "movie monster."

[hilldo.livejournal.com]

I know their babies chew on your face.