the trick is to keep breathing

Usually I lock the entries that have to do with UAkron, but I (finally) have something good to say about them, so I think I will let this one stand as one high (counter)point against my ongoing internet diatribe. :)

As some of you know: last week Friday during lab I was talking with the lab professor. She was telling me some things about the department, upcoming changes they're discussing, and we got to talking about the part-time program. She told me there was a meeting coming up discussing the Masters program and the part-time program, and we got to talking about its weaknesses and problems, and I think she could see how invested in this I am (spoiler: it's not hard to see), because she asked if I had any points, complaints, concerns, or comments -- she offered to bring them up in the meeting anonymously.

Oh, I said. Um. I have a list. I have documents I'm compiling.

She said, if you send me something, I will make sure it's heard, anonymously.

Now: I can't pass up something like that. You all know how hard I've been working, for years, and how hard I've been hoping to find someone who cared. So I went home thinking about it - and over the weekend decided that I didn't really want to dump my rant list on this professor.

And on Monday, when I sent her a note about the lab, she replied asking again for my thoughts and telling me that she would represent my concerns at this meeting.

So Monday night I stayed up, going through my old LJ entries (note to self: my journal did not actually import into DW like I thought it did; my tags and some icons did, but the entries didn't. As soon as LJ isn't dying of DDoS, fix this), which are all tagged for this very reason - reconstructing the hardest moments of my graduate school career. I was very careful with what I wrote. I selected only 4 or 5 main "concerns" or "topics", and when I addressed each problem, I also took the time to write constructive suggestions to help alleviate each area of concern I presented. I also was very careful with my tone, to remain straightforward and professional, to keep each concern clear, concise, and precise without dampening my concern. I removed any particular personal details - both to avoid the feeling that this was just a rant, and to keep my anonymity (many of the professors in question definitely would remember these incidents since I confronted them the first time).

I had two people read it over for me to ensure it was tactful, professional, and coherent. (I'm pretty sure both of them suggested things I had forgotten, that is how bad this program has been.) And then I sent it to her.

(If anyone wants to read it, I don't necessarily mind sharing it, although I will do so privately/locked.)

I also told her in the email that while I appreciated her offer of anonymity, I was more than willing to stand behind my words, and especially if the department wanted to talk with me further about suggestions for improvement - I would be more than happy to meet, discuss, brainstorm, and help in any way I could.

(Because frankly, my anonymity won't last for long. I would say I've had personal confrontations with about 75% of the professors I've had in this department. And I am all in on this.)

I was pleased enough to have found someone who was interested in what I had to say - someone who valued a part-timer's opinion, first and foremost, because that respect and acknowledgment has been ultrarare. But second - not only did she care about my opinion, she agreed with me on much of what we talked about.

And today I heard back from her. She thanked me for my commentary, and said that she really liked what I had written and while it ended up not being the appropriate meeting she has filed it away in her head for future use, because she thinks it's important: a really valid argument and a valuable angle which is being completely overlooked.

I hope I don't have to tell you how much I am smiling right now. After four years of wrestling, one small victory feels really, really awesome.

Thanks, M.

WHAT YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT ACADEMIA.

Well, okay.

I am going to separate this out into two parts: some big, fundamental things that I think need discussing, and some smaller, within-the-system, more reasonable things I think are relevant.

It's going to become a ramble and I am sure there are a lot of things I am going to miss. I have definitely NOT said everything I have to say about academia; this came out being more about academia as a whole, and I could write another 8000 words on effing grad school. But I don't want to let this eat up 2 hours of my evening. Have a sampling.

( The big picture of academia... needs to change )

( But what can we do NOW? )



I told myself I'd stop writing this at 8:00 and it is already 8:05 so I am going to post but I KNOW I HAVEN'T SAID ALL I WANT TO SAY so uh feel free to give me some leading questions if you are so inclined etc etc seriously, this doesn't even get into the way I would GUT graduate school and START OVER in so many places so.... dammit Cendri way to give me a topic I could cover for a week >.>

This is part of my 30 Days of Posting meme - feel free to check out the schedule of posting! My month is full, but if any of the posts make you want to ask for something else, go ahead and leave a comment anyway! DW || LJ