the trick is to keep breathing

Usually I lock the entries that have to do with UAkron, but I (finally) have something good to say about them, so I think I will let this one stand as one high (counter)point against my ongoing internet diatribe. :)

As some of you know: last week Friday during lab I was talking with the lab professor. She was telling me some things about the department, upcoming changes they're discussing, and we got to talking about the part-time program. She told me there was a meeting coming up discussing the Masters program and the part-time program, and we got to talking about its weaknesses and problems, and I think she could see how invested in this I am (spoiler: it's not hard to see), because she asked if I had any points, complaints, concerns, or comments -- she offered to bring them up in the meeting anonymously.

Oh, I said. Um. I have a list. I have documents I'm compiling.

She said, if you send me something, I will make sure it's heard, anonymously.

Now: I can't pass up something like that. You all know how hard I've been working, for years, and how hard I've been hoping to find someone who cared. So I went home thinking about it - and over the weekend decided that I didn't really want to dump my rant list on this professor.

And on Monday, when I sent her a note about the lab, she replied asking again for my thoughts and telling me that she would represent my concerns at this meeting.

So Monday night I stayed up, going through my old LJ entries (note to self: my journal did not actually import into DW like I thought it did; my tags and some icons did, but the entries didn't. As soon as LJ isn't dying of DDoS, fix this), which are all tagged for this very reason - reconstructing the hardest moments of my graduate school career. I was very careful with what I wrote. I selected only 4 or 5 main "concerns" or "topics", and when I addressed each problem, I also took the time to write constructive suggestions to help alleviate each area of concern I presented. I also was very careful with my tone, to remain straightforward and professional, to keep each concern clear, concise, and precise without dampening my concern. I removed any particular personal details - both to avoid the feeling that this was just a rant, and to keep my anonymity (many of the professors in question definitely would remember these incidents since I confronted them the first time).

I had two people read it over for me to ensure it was tactful, professional, and coherent. (I'm pretty sure both of them suggested things I had forgotten, that is how bad this program has been.) And then I sent it to her.

(If anyone wants to read it, I don't necessarily mind sharing it, although I will do so privately/locked.)

I also told her in the email that while I appreciated her offer of anonymity, I was more than willing to stand behind my words, and especially if the department wanted to talk with me further about suggestions for improvement - I would be more than happy to meet, discuss, brainstorm, and help in any way I could.

(Because frankly, my anonymity won't last for long. I would say I've had personal confrontations with about 75% of the professors I've had in this department. And I am all in on this.)

I was pleased enough to have found someone who was interested in what I had to say - someone who valued a part-timer's opinion, first and foremost, because that respect and acknowledgment has been ultrarare. But second - not only did she care about my opinion, she agreed with me on much of what we talked about.

And today I heard back from her. She thanked me for my commentary, and said that she really liked what I had written and while it ended up not being the appropriate meeting she has filed it away in her head for future use, because she thinks it's important: a really valid argument and a valuable angle which is being completely overlooked.

I hope I don't have to tell you how much I am smiling right now. After four years of wrestling, one small victory feels really, really awesome.

Thanks, M.