the trick is to keep breathing

So there was a United Way kickoff at work today, and they gave out a free lunch. Now, you must understand something. I'm all about the goodies. I'll put up with pretty much anything as long as there's a cookie at the end of it. Some real-life examples from work:

Occasion: Really long, boring meeting half in Japanese
What Sev Sees: Coffee and bagels!!! ^^

Occasion: 30-year anniversary for some dude I've never met
What Sev Sees: CAKE!!! ^^

Occasion: Really, really boring PHA (process hazards analysis) for 8 hours
What Sev Sees: Sandwiches and soda!! ^^

Occasion: Somebody left donuts in the lunchroom
What Sev Sees: Nothing, because she's stolen them all

...AND SO ON.

So today's thing had lunch, which I love. But it's a United Way kickoff. Bridgestone runs this every summer, and it's a huge deal, and they raise like a metric fucktonne of money through the company, and it's really awesome. So we're all standing around looking at the displays, and my boss comes up to me, and says,

"Ah, free food. Fancy seeing you here."

...I need to get my dignity back.