the trick is to keep breathing

I'm always surprised at how many hours there actually are in a day.

I really shouldn't be, because I've experienced this phenomenon once before, when I was still working my full-time long-day 40-hr-week job and also attending a 20-30-hr-week graduate lab class: if you literally spend every spare minute you have doing something, it's a lot of work. (And I mean it. Sometimes I see people posting, "I'm soooo busy~!" but if I've seen you posting 10K in fic in the last week, or reblogging tons of stuff on Tumblr, or otherwise hobbying-- maybe you're busy, but that isn't actually spending every legitimate moment you have on work-like things. I realize this makes me a judgmental ass and I'm sorry.)

But really, I'm still continually surprised at how much you can actually work in one day. Because I have basically spent every free hour I have had in the last 7 days helping to basically remodel a basement which is my responsibility to fix. I don't even have time to tell you everything handyman that I've done. But I'm just still for whatever reason surprised at how BUSY you can actually get. When you come home from work at 6:15 and change and eat and then drive up to the house at 7:00 and work until 11:00 and then come home and make a lunch and do the dishes and go to bed at 12 and get up at 6:30 and go to work at 7:30 and then do it all over again, for an entire week? I mean it, there is busy and then there is, "life sat on me." They aren't even really in the same order of magnitude.

Had I known the level of fucked this problem was, I wouldn't have started it now. But you don't know what's under the carpet until you pull up the carpet.

I thought I was busy before. Turns out, there were plenty of hours in my day that could be filled up with things that make me miserable.

I am stressed as fuck, I have gotten absolutely nothing done this week, my exchange ends this weekend, I am leaving tomorrow afternoon and I have not yet finished packing. This week has been just awful.

Some day I will turn this experience into a "Handyman How-To" post because I've actually learned a lot of fun shit. Today is not that day.

- - -

I just printed out all my itineraries and reservations and flight info and blah blah and it's basically a short novel, I've killed a tree doing it, it weighs more than my laptop, etc etc.

This trip-- I am not even looking forward to it. i'll be honest. Work is so awful right now, and there are a bunch of due dates WHILE I AM GONE, so I have to work ON my trip, and just. ugh ugh ugh first world problems etc but.

I carry my stress in my shoulders and neck, and I nearly can't drive a car right now. I am pretty sure my back is about to leave me for another woman.

Whirlwind tour of the US is as follows:
- to Boise this weekend for my cousin's wedding
- fly to Vegas Mon with family, night in Vegas
- drive to Grand Canyon Tues, two nights in GC
-- work due Wednesday, have to work Mon and Tues to submit Wed
- return to Vegas on Thurs, night in Vegas
- Fri, fly directly to Houston, spend weekend weeping in a pillow fort
- Sun, pick up Japanese BFF at airport and head off to the plant
- Mon, tour of plant with guest
- Tues-Wed, work at the plant
-- work due Tues, will have to work the previous week to compile it
- Thurs, return home

- THE FOLLOWING MONDAY, submit a report of the work I did on the plant trip to the Overlords because
- THAT WEDNESDAY/THURSDAY, our biannual meeting with the Overlords begins

- probably every day forever: cry into beer, from stress and frustration

- date of freedom: 20 June
- 21 June: lose self in Diablo III for three consecutive days

I am trying for serenity now and I'm not sure I'll make it. OH GOOD. When can I give up on everything and be a crazy cat lady hermit hobo who never goes anywhere?

ON THE PLUS SIDE, I now have an app on my phone that can send a postcard photo from anywhere for $0.99, so if you want a really dumb postcard from Vegas or the Grand Canyon, email me your address.

ADDITIONALLY ON THE PLUS SIDE, I've written 4 Korra drabbles in the past few days. On my phone. While in meetings or otherwise working. Seeing as I haven't written a thing since December, this is cool.

I HAD ANOTHER PLUS but I have forgotten it so.

Friday: Late-night drive to Columbus (seriously... I'm talking 1am)

Friday night: Up all night in a terrified curled-up ball in the corner of the couch because I am afraid of Drakon's vicious baby-eating wolf hybrids (read: dogs fall over on floor to be petted when you look at them)

Saturday morning: Leave house with thermos full of two pots of coffee, which is promptly stored between my legs for the drive to B-Town. Meet greatest Wendy's employee ever and discuss fandom, drama, fanfiction, and being forever students. Definitely drink two pots of coffee. Pee every ten minutes. Meticulously tag everything we discuss. There is a zombie on your lawn.

Saturday afternoon: Arrival in Cendriville. Cendri dances for us in dress and ladybug slippers. Take video. Attend wedding at which Harry Potter is a groomsman. Head off to reception and meet awesome old people for dinner. Wait expectantly for groom's family to provide liquor license.

Saturday evening: Sev is the goddamned Batman (of makeup). Pa Cendri offers to be DD. He is awesome and I am proud to be his m-preg spawn. Score excellent Greek food. Have tasty local brew. Follow the sound of techno to a club at which we dance like we are not as old as we are. Are supplied with delicious candy-tasting Long Islands, which we then transfer to Taco Bell cups and take home. Sleepy cuddle-times passing out in awesome waterbed. Next morning transfer to Squishy Bed, which eats me. There is still a zombie on your lawn.

Sunday morning: Ma Cendri feeds us deliciousness; it is awesome. Wander B-Town. Pet three cats (yay!). Purchase copious amounts of music. Eat more delicious food.

Sunday afternoon: Listen to world's greatest CD ever in the car while writing ~5,000 words of plot outline for the most epic FF8 fic possible. Eat burgers.

Sunday night: Finally arrive home and pass the fuck out.

My penis is a divining rod, and you are the water.