seventhe: (Burger King: In the butt!)
  • Last night I took an epsom salt bath. I did some research that said epsom salt baths work for arthritis pain - the magnesium can penetrate the pores and help with inflammation. SO I went and picked up some epsom salts from Rite Aid (plain, along with a lavender variation and some other salts I found for aches and pains - with eucalyptus and spearmint?) and ran some hot water and I spent about 45 mins reading TIME magazine in the tub with the jets on and off as needed, and I do feel better today. Could be coincidence, but I'll take it. My neck is still stiff, but the rest of me feels a lot more mobile. And less grate-y and grind-y.

  • Last week I went to pick up my new glasses - mine are four years old and I'm finally starting to get vision headaches from the slightly-expired prescription - but they were wrong. All weekend I felt like my depth-of-field was off in my left eye -- turns out the axis of the astigmatism was 3-4 degrees off. (ASTM for lenses is 2 degrees I guess? That's great, when my vision is so bad that I'm sensitive to the actual margin of error?) So the glasses went back in to be fixed.
    In slightly better vision news, in the last two years it turns out that one awesome line of contact lenses has been extended into my prescription range - yeah technology! - so it's now possible for me to get good-quality contacts (that will correct my vision over 80%) that I can wear all day without feeling like there is sand gauging out my eyes. They're even rated to sleep in. For up to a week. That's right, I can wear them to a con weekend and not have to worry. Thank fuck. Too bad I can't contacts at work, but it will still be convenient to have for the summer. So as soon as we figure out my script, I'll be buying a million of those.
    I realize I'm quite lucky that my eyes can be (mostly) corrected and my vision is (mostly) functional. It's just hard to feel lucky staring down this $500 bill when I still don't have a new pair of glasses.

  • Spent the weekend declaring war on my lawn. I accidentally killed half of it trying to smoke out garlic mustard (Weed & Feed works great on the parts of my lawn that are actually grass; turns out there are a lot of weeds that look like grass but ain't grass, and that's how I murdered half of my front yard) and so I spent Monday mowing, re-treating the yard one last time to just get this shit over with, and tossing Grass Seed For Dummies everywhere. I also threw giant handfuls of "wildflower seed mix" on parts of my yard to cover up the fact that I don't give two epic shits about gardening right now. I actually love gardening and flowers but that is a hobby to be adopted at some future date, preferably when I am not exhausted, grumpy, and still unpacking.


  • Our birdfeeders are finally kicking off - it's like finch city on the one, and the tufted titmice really like the second one -- much to the everlasting joy of the neighborhood troll cat, who has already caught one of my chipmunks and has spent time staring up at the feeder like it's some epic cat buffet. GTFO. You're cute but if I can't pet you I don't want to feed you.

  • I am so broke. Like godsbefucked broke. Note I am saying broke - I am not poor; I've been poor; this is not poor - what I am is broke. Buying a house costs a lot. Taking care of the house costs a lot. JFC I want my savings cushion back. Looking at my net cash is giving me spasms.

  • I'm so not here mentally. I should have taken vacation this week.

seventhe: (Cecil and Rosa: Dark / Light)
FFIV things that have happened:

Second discussion post that kind of got derailed when I realized I was fucking exhausted from moving, DOINK!, and life but ended up being interesting anyway

Final FFIV Wrap-Up Post because it's May

- - -

Realized last night that master bedroom does not get good wifi. Will need to buy new wireless router for this; fffuuuu, more money I do not have at the moment. Have added it to the list of "things that can wait" where I will promptly forget about it and then whine every night when I try to check Feedly from bed.

- - -

Shower still leaks. Have investigated; will need new rubber stripping on bottom of shower door. Do not have the brains to fix at the moment. Current solution: stuff washcloth into hole, use shitty towel to wipe up the floor.

- - -

Having a very weird mental week. Not in a good way. :/

- - -

Work is currently in the worst intersection of drudgery and administrative work right now. Makes me feel like there isn't a lot to do when there really is, because I don't want to do any of it; project reviews coming up late May for Japanese Overlord visit in June, and great, because what I need right at this moment is definitely more stress!

- - -

Working on DOINK this week and using the next part of my Arc/Alus as motivation to do so. Hush. Don't judge me

- - -

I would like a week off. of life.
seventhe: (Life: stress out and die)
I am moved.

I am exhausted.

--this is a post that was supposed to go up yesterday but I had "one of those days" at work yesterday where people come down from Research to do things and I have to assist / chaperone (I am the highest-paid babysitter in the world some days) meaning I was on my feet manual labor from 7am-3pm minus lunch, which meant basically nothing else got done. I was so tired yesterday I had that grey ring of fuzz around my vision. Cool.

I am operating entirely out of my phone too because although I know where the computer is amidst the 31209487 boxes in my house, my dad packed up all my cords separately and neatly... somewhere in the third dimension apparently. Hopefully I will find them before it is August. This is a very helpful thing when you are running an exchange! >.>

I already love the house and being in the house. Even though my bedroom isn't ready and I won't have actually "moved in" to my own fucking room until this Sunday... I'm not entirely surprised to find that a partial but major source of all of the awful anxiety and depression I've been fighting lately is the should-be-familiar feeling of upcoming change, of not having an actual home, loss of foundation and safe place. Now that I've got that back, even though it's a fucking disaster world that doesn't look at all like "my place" and I'm not even in my own bed, I already feel more stable.

My everything hurts. Literally. The disc in my neck is sending spasming pain down my right shoulderblade; my lower back pinched nerve is sending electric shocks down my right ass cheek into my right hamstring like a glorified final boss. I have eleven bruises on my left leg, my knees hurt (???), I've gotten more headaches in the past three days than in the past entire year... I am apparently too fragile to move. good thing I will never do it again

I-- I swear I had more things to say but well this is what you get

seventhe: (Cecil and Rosa: Dark / Light)
busy busy weekend:

  1. Doing a bunch of work on the house. I lazed around in a depressive exhausted funk on Friday reading waste of space fanfiction and then it suddenly hit me that, like, I'm moving into this fucking house in two fucking weeks and I have a fuckload of work to do. So Saturday: sanded, mudded, sanded, taped and first coat primed the downstairs bathroom, taped the upstairs study; Sunday: spent copious time at Lowe's gettinc carpet samples and a measurement arranged, second coat of primer, tore up carpet in master BD, planted some flowers, got ready to steam clean the greatroom carpets. ughhhHHHHHH I haven't even like thought about packing (every time I think about peeking around that particular corner anxiety is like "sshhhhh baby don't do it" so I haven't)

    The list of things to still be done is horrendous. The master BD needs painted (and the ceilings go up to 13' so like fuck I'm doing that myself - meeting w a painter Fri) and then new carpet (at least I got that started.....?), the study needs painted, the downstairs fucking bathroom needs fixed the fuck up and painted aqnd reassembled (side note: I have named the downstairs bathroom Voldemort because it's been such a huge heinous pain in the arse that on Sunday I referred to it as the room that shall not be named, hence we can now use the phrase, "I'm gonna go poop in Voldemort." Ladies and gentlemen, this is what it's like to be 31 years old?). Oh and fucking Kilz the spot in the basement that's got a bit of mold on it in the shelves, fuck, I had literally forgotten about that. And that's all not including packing fuck my actual life and not including the 40 things that are on the list once I am actually living there.

    My advice is to never buy a house. My advice is to start drinking heavily.

  2. Second set of injections on Thursday. Very eager to get there. The neck/shoulder/back ~situation~ is still better than it was pre-injection but do you know what hurts a lot when you've got a herniated disc in your neck? stuff like painting or you know sanding a fucking wall and stuff like that. Ugh my entire body. Thursday will at least be a day of drugged-up bliss. And hopefully it will knock even more of the pain out, so that I'm close to OK to go for actual moving weekend fffuuuuuUUUCK

  3. I did actually beat FFIII. I also started FFIV. There was an odd overlap week and I am sure anyone following my Tumblr is hella confused. I need to make some posts to [community profile] moogle_university here.

  4. Matching for DOINK! is done. Should be going out soon~~~!

  5. I don't want to talk about work.

The end!


Mar. 25th, 2013 07:53 am
seventhe: (Ondore: he lies)
It's that weird overlap time where you are moving and you know you are moving, but you haven't yet; the place you're in now becomes less home by default, just a feeling, but there's nothing yet to take its place. For a Taurus like me - grounded by the places I feel safe - this is a very strange and uncomfortable feeling.

I'm working on making the place feel like my home in my head though, so that once I get there, I will feel settled. Took the cats and had a sleepover party on Friday (Marzy had an absolute blast; Porter was pretty terrified and spent the first ~15min hiding under the laundry tub, but eventually warmed up to it. Rydia, showing once again that she truly is my familiar, somehow felt out which room was the master bedroom and spent most of her time lounging under my window); spent all yesterday afternoon putting up a first coat of paint in Becky's room. Going to spend time this week taking vacation from work to paint the other bedrooms, tear up the master BD carpet, fix a leaky sink etc.

I'm calling it the Feymarch. Although it also goes by Castle Gaylord (which is actually a more fitting name when you realize what an absolute dork I am for interior decorating. My dining room is going to be straight out of fucking Rivendell, you may all defriend me immediately.), but the Feymarch is fitting for a place that feels like it's out in the middle of nowhere.

Hard to believe I'm going to be living there in less than a month. When in the absolute fuck am I going to pack?

My moods are still, honestly, all over the goddamn place. I'm excited about it, but then I reach a point where I'm preemptively overwhelmed and just don't want to think about it - and then I start bouncing off all the other angles: I want credit for doing something this awesome all by myself; I don't want anybody else knowing or talking or helping because this is mine; I want to have a million parties; I want to be there alone forever. I swear my depression-brain is a manic depressive these days. I could deal with it when it was straightforward depression brain. I seriously don't know how to operate with manic depressive headbees.

But it's mine. If you're an address person and you'd like my new address, fire me an email -- I'd love to get some cute moving-in mail. :D
seventhe: (SAZH)
this chapter better entitled: The Joys Of Closing, or: Cuyahoga Falls, Get Yer Shit Together

so my new house gets its utilities from Cuyahoga Falls*. Over the weekend I was chatting via email with my real estate agent and on Mon she sent me a reminder saying, you should remember to set up utilities to transfer into your name on Thursday when we close.

[Time out: I'M CLOSING ON THURSDAY. AS OF THURSDAY I HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE. THE HOUSE IS MINE. OH MY GOD. I keep forgetting this and then remembering it at horrible times; I've spent the last three days having big gay freakouts in a variety of flavors (fuck! Awesome! Oh my god! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!, it's party time!, when the fuck am I going to move, etc.)]

So Monday I call the Cuyahoga Falls utilities office. and they're like, you have to come in person to set that up. Really? Seriously? In 2013 I have to actually show up in your freaking office in person to get utilities transferred to my--- okay, whatever, sure. Bring photo ID, a check to pay your deposit, and the papers from the bank. We haven't closed yet, I say; closing is on Thursday. It's okay, says the phone guy; bring the copy of the contract and the papers from the bank.

So I took off 2 hours of "personal business/emergency" time for this morning and planned to sleep in a bit and head right to CF when they opened.

Except that of course when I actually get there the woman is like "you haven't closed yet? We can't set this up until you've closed."

"I have a copy of the signed contract," I say.

"Yeah, but we have to know that everything went through and the house is yours before you do that. That's just the way that we operate. You'll have to come back on Thursday."


First: so I can't close until I have utilities transferred --> but I can't transfer utilities until the house closes --> oookay so how do house then???

Second: okay, this one is much more personal, but: My time is my most valued and valuable resource in my life. Doubly so the time that I have off of work. So to have two hours of my off-work time wasted by this bullshittery is really frustrating on a level it shouldn't be: it's just two hours, it's just errands, the real estate agents can call the office and work out whatever, it isn't a big deal -- except that it triggers this deep feeling of horribly stressed anger in me, that two hours that could have been a respite from my job have been wasted on administrative bureaucratic bullshittery because people can't get their shit together when telling me things on the phone.

I just. GAH! It isn't a big deal. It's a very small deal. But I am still pissed.

*I don't really feel weird posting this online - most of you know generally where I live, and lots of houses get utilities from CF so it isn't too much of a giveaway - and ideally someone from CF will find this via the Googles and have a great change of heart and decide to be so much more helpful in the future and also send me a fruit basket and an apology, so the town name stays. Don't fucking stalk me though.
seventhe: (SAZH)
A quick update while I've got a few seconds'-worth of a breather here at lunch.

(edit) QUICK UPDATE ACTUAL LOL i have managed to turn "quick lunch update" into gigantic emotional tl;dr diatribe god I am the best/worst blogger in the history of the internet

I've been excessively shitty lately. My workload - not just job but life, because apparently the amount of general bullshittery around me increases directly proportional to my stress load due to specific work bullshittery - has been godawful. I actually started typing out a list of the many things I'm trying to handle right now but deleted it because a) it was depressing me and b) it sounded like I'm playing Stress And Workload I Am The Busiest Ever Olympics which isn't ever really what I want to sound like. Suffice to say I was up to item 12 before I stopped, and that hadn't even covered work; if you'd like to play Olympics with me I guarantee I will win, which actually means I lose, I think.

additional rambles that got long )
seventhe: (Rydia: reversed)

I wasn't even shopping. Looked on a whim, fell for the world's most beautiful house, decided to pretend to impulse buy it and suddenly got serious. I've found my dream house. After a bunch of back and forth, Seller accepted my offer this evening.

Holy fucking shit.


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