oh my god

[seventhe]

I have legit spent the last six hours of my life trying to beat ONE FUCKING BOSS in FFXIII.

Six hours, four tall alcoholic drinks, lots of leveling, and eight thousand strategies later, I have defeated the pope bride.

THE POPE BRIDE OF COCOON

IS A MASSIVE ASSHOLE

HE IS AN ENTIRE BAKER'S DOZEN OF DICKS

I HATE THIS GODDAMN GAME


For the record, the pope bride is the guy in charge of cocoon, and at the end of chapter 9 he morphs from the pope bride into a massive ass robot with one giant freaky robot face and four even more freaky upside down fences hanging from his face/body/something. His name is like Barthandreusiamamassiveasshole or something, and the fact that I have spent six hours fighting this motherfucker and I am still not even sure of his name should tell you something about how was to understand FFXIII is and how much I think of it

The strategy online that says you can protect yourself from Destrudo is a massive asshole liar, though, because Sentinel never takes on him and even if it did Lightning still dies every fucking time. Yes, i was totally leveled in the crystarium as far as i could get. The key is Rav/Rav/Rav and get his chain up almost to 200%, because if you do that his asshole One Hit Wonder decreases in power and you actually live. FANCY THAT. Thank you, other online guide. Thank you, Taurus stubbornness.

I did it with Light/Sazh/Hope, because I could have Haste that way along with all Sazh/Hope's other buffs, plus Rav/Rav/Rav and Com/Rav/Rav for ramping up that chain and thus surviving, plus Syn/Med/Med for OH FUCK ME times afterwards. I LIKE SAZH OKAY. I KNOW NO ONE ELSE DOES

I fucking hate this game. I hate that I just spent six hours on that fucking thing. OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT TO ANYONE EVER



it's okay world, I beat the boss. and now I will sleep.

Comments

[seventhe]

Well, Provoke never took, not even for other attacks, but even just with a Sentinel hanging around Lightning was still like the One-Hit-Dead-Wonder (where by one hit I definitely mean the million hits that was Destrudo, you fucker) I don't even. Fang was a L3 Sen too; WHO KNOWS .____. I beat him eventually.

(And then used Fang/Light/Vanille to wail on Raines, succesfully taking advantage of Sentinel there! MAYBE THERE WAS JUST SOME RANDOM GAME VARIABLE LOADED NOT IN MY FAVOR OR SOMETHING)

I found the combat system really confusing at first, as well -- even when the characters had gotten roles and paradigms, at the beginning, skills are so limited that I was still like, "okay, what the heck is my strategy here" because strategy was still = Lightning Kills Everything and I was like, WHY IS IT SO COMPLICATED IF THAT IS ALL I DO .___. Like, the combat system is kind of a hot mess at first, no lie.

But once things started opening up, and the characters got more skills (and more useful skills!) and suddenly Hope was a fucking Ravager bomb and Vanille's Sab skills were super effective and it all kind of ended up clicking in my head, like, okay, so this is a hot mess, but here is how you USE this hot mess.

I really enjoy it now -- I like the high-level strategic way of thinking about everything, and I love the paradigm names, and I think it's a great twist on FF games and a good next step from gambits (although I still love gambits >.>). My only real complaint comes from the whole "if party leader dies, game over" thing -- and that's just because I am an old-school gamer who is used to having an entire party with which to buffer spells and toss Phoenix Downs and I am resentful that I have to watch my stupid party leader and it's an entire mindset change. XD

[thene]

YEAH it is really not surprising that they took the 'if party leader dies, game over' thing out of FFXIII-2 (which is like XII - if the leader dies leadership reverts to someone else).

Gambits are still my favourite FF combat system. At one point I sprained an eye muscle from playing too much FFXII and couldn't see properly, but realised that not being able to see FFXII didn't stop me from playing it, so I killed the Hellwyrm while glancing at it occasionally, sometimes belatedly noticing that someone had been dead for the last several minutes, etc. I LOVE FFXII.